Posted by: De | 2008/09/16

I do bad things to people I love

I think there' s something wrong with me. I do bad things to people I love. I get irritable with friends and family, and I create situations to punish them. The other day I had a fight with my friend, so i hid her passport so she can' t go overseas with her fiance. I got a kick out of watching her panic, and watching her fiance get angry at her for being so irresponsible. I' ve also hidden things that my cousin has borrowed from friends because I want to see how her friends react. I also do stupid things like put sugar in my friend' s coffee when I know she' s on a diet because i want her to stay fat. I know this is not normal behaviour, and I hate myself afterwards. What' s wrong with me? Is it jealousy? Why do I hurt the people I love?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Getting irritable isn't unusual ; planing elaborate punishments, is. What you describe is childish, spiteful and ugly behaviour, and almost psychopathic in its cold-bloodedness. See a shrink for a proper assessment and advice which should include therapy to sort this out while you still recognize that it's wrong.
El's comment is natursl and fair, and its Mom, whining about EL, who is out of line and unhelpful. I don't believe that people who hurt others deserve to be protected from hearing how unpleasantly other people feel about folks who behave as they do. People with no respect for the feelings of others, cannot claim respect for their own feelings.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mom | 2008/09/16

Seriously people, stop being a bunch of mean idiots. Ppl come here for help and getting slagged by people like you wont help them.

EL : get a life. You seem to come in here, make arb mean comments and dont try to help. I think CyberShrink needs to investigate you as an abuser!

De : I think you need to talk to someone. Your attention seeking is borderline childish and very mean. You have seen this and acknowledged it, thats a good start. Admitting you have a problem is not easy. So well done, now you can work on stopping this destructive behavior.

The next time you want to do something like that, stop and think about this email and remind yourself you are better than that and you dont want to do it anymore. It might take some time, but soon you wont need to remind yourself, you just wont be doing it anymore on your own.

Reply to Mom
Posted by: Zara | 2008/09/16

I think those comments are uncalled for. De obviously realises she has a problem... being so harsh is not going to make things better, esp if i' s true that she has such low self-esteem to begin with anyway. De, I think it' s great that you recognise that you have a problem. That' s always the first step to recovering. I don' t doubt that you love these people, but I do think you probably feel inferior compared to them as a result of low self esteem, and you need to work on that.

Reply to Zara
Posted by: Maria | 2008/09/16

Realising that you' ve got a problem is always a good first step. Now ponder the saying " do unto others as you would have them do unto you" . And find a good psychologist to talk to!

Reply to Maria
Posted by: EL | 2008/09/16

LOL John!!

Reply to EL
Posted by: John | 2008/09/16

First, I sincerely hope that you undid some of the harm before it got serious (like returned the passport before it was too late)? Secondly, I don' t think you love these people but it is possible that they love you. Your terrible acts of spite are probably born out of a poor self-image on your part and the very bad things you do is to get even with those you feel are somehow better than you in a cowardly way. I don' t know if there shrinkage that deals with this but for the sake of the poor unsuspecting people around you, I hope so, and that you avail yourself of it.

Wow, now I can die I think, as I have just about seen everything.

Reply to John
Posted by: EL | 2008/09/16

You need some serious help!

Reply to EL

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