Posted by: Steve | 2007/03/08

I did it...


I have done it... I came clean. And now, it is over.

The good thing is, we have decided to remain friends, best friends. I will always be there for her, to comfort her and be a shoulder to cry on, but she has made peace with the fact that I am gay and that I have not been very loyal to her. She is hurt, very much so, and I even think there is some bitterness and hate, but she is really trying hard to work with it and heal it. She is seeing the therapist saturday (the same one I've been seeing), and I suppose that she will tell him what happened, and maybe he can help her heal, make her stronger, more independant, have more love for herself, get over it. He could maybe help ro make her a much stronger person than I could. And I know that she has the potential to be a wonderful, strong, independant woman. I saw that again in her last night. There are still a few practicalities that we have to sort out, but I've shed most of this burden on my shoulders... I am still walking this road, taking each day one by one. There are more mountains and deep rivers to cross, but I will deal with those when I get there. Knowing that she will be there for me, supporting me, will also make it easier for me to get accross these rivers.

Thanks to everyone who has given me great advice. I will still rely on you guys to help me, but I think the worst is out of the way, and now the road to self acceptance becomes easier...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi again Steve and thanks for the post and update... and well done on coming clean :) I applaud your courage.

Please keep posting.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Junior | 2007/03/12

Dear Steve

I have been following your story with much interest. You have handled the entire situation in the best possible way given your situation. In less than two months, you have come to accept your sexuality, seek counselling and end your marrige.. Well Done - you should be extremely happy. We expect to hear many things from you in the future.

Be proud of yourself, and don't ever let anyone take that away from you.

Lots of Love

Reply to Junior
Posted by: Steve | 2007/03/08

Thanks you guys... You've made the load so much more bearable, and I'm very grateful. I also have to send a huge thanks to Deeve... He has sort of become a mentor to me, and having talked to him really helped me a lot. The great thing is of course that there is again a flicker of light at the end of the tunnel...

I do not intend to stay away! Expect to hear much more from me!

Reply to Steve
Posted by: Ferny | 2007/03/08

Well done Steve!

All of us who have been following your story know how difficult this must have been for you.

You have shown great courage. Remember we are all here for you. As you say the road is still long and hard but we are all here to support you along the way !!

Love and hugs - Ferny :-)

Reply to Ferny
Posted by: whatwhat 24 | 2007/03/08

hi Steve

wow, i am blown away at how brave you have been! It is difficult, and i'm sure you are finding life quite difficult at the moment, but you must hang on to the belief that you made the best decision for both you and her. You both can now move on with your lives, and i think giving her this chance is something not many would have done. You seriously need to hold onto that. I think by breaking it off with her displays how much you do love and care for her, you respect her enough to ensure she gets the best out of life.

don't be a stranger, we will all be here for you.

whatwhat 24

Reply to whatwhat 24
Posted by: Nikki | 2007/03/08

That was a huge step Steve, and one that no one else but you could have made. I will not say well done, hurray and over indulge in what was not pleasurable moments for you or for her BUT I think you made the right decission because you owe it to her and to yourself.

The road from here on is one of letting go but one that should be filled with mutual respect both ways.

The self respect you have for yourself will flow towards her and support her in a way that cannot be put into words. Actions is what count and now you need to replace the guilt with a sense of re-birth.

She will have to work this through in her own way and in her own time and all you can do is to be there to answer whatever questions she may have. If the answers are not forthcoming, find out with your therapist or here on the forum but give her the answers. Doubt and not understanding nurture hate and rejection, knowledge is power.

Empower yourself so that you can empower her.

Always here to help


Reply to Nikki

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