Our expert says:
Indeed, it does sound ungracious of her. Maybe she was more embarrassed at not having enough to offer guests, than you realized ? Above all, she disappointed you at a time when you were vulnerable and coping with a difficult and complex situation, and needed fairly simple help.
You may be over-reacting just slightly, but its entirely understandable that you feel disappointed and let down. Give ita little time, then set aside some calm time to sit with her and talk through this, emphasizing how you feel about the whole event, rather than just comp,aining about her unhelpfulness.
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