Posted by: Sibu | 2007/06/14

I cheated on my Wife coz she accused me!

Hi All

I cheated on my Wife because she always accused me of cheating while i was not and so thought maybe i'm being accused i might as well just do it, so she caught an sms to this other lady and everything just got out of hand as she really took it very badly until today and this happened in 2004. When she asked why i did it i said it's because i was already being accused of it even thou i was not doing anything. Do you think she will ever forgive me?

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Our expert says:
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What do you expect ? It must have been unpleasant to be falsely acused, but instead of solving the problem, you have now proved her right. Its not her fault that you DID cheat. Pholi sums up the fallacy in your argument rather well. What puzzles me is that apparently this happened in 2004, and 3 years later its still an active problem ? If you two are still together but unhappy, see a marriage counsellor together

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Our users say:
Posted by: Hehehe | 2007/06/14

You did the right thing.

Reply to Hehehe
Posted by: FIO | 2007/06/14

You did, proved whatever point, to yourself more than to her. If you were trying to prove something to her you would have told her a long time ago. So this was for you, and you used her accusations as justification to want to try a little bit of pie onthe side.

Question is, have you had your curiosity satisfied, are you still hungry for more pie, and more importantly, how many more times have you done it? Only this once?

If you are totally honest with yourself, and have put it aside, then both of you can move on with new found trust. But you need to earn that trust, and she needs to learn to trust too.

Why did she not trust you in the beginning? Maybe coz she was having an affair on the side, and her guilt made her think you were doing it too whenever she saw something in you that reminded her of what she was doing.

Anyway, think you both need to play open cards, and let all truths out, or just live with the lies and hope somehow you'll behappy with lousy secrets.

Reply to FIO
Posted by: Echelle | 2007/06/14

Sibu - there is never a good enough reason to cheat! Never! She accused you of cheating while you didn't, but you knew you didn't, so did you have to prove to yourself that you actually are a cheater? Wouldn't it have been mature of you to prove to yourself that you aren't a cheater? Doesn't matter what she was thinking or accusing you of, what matters is that you know that you are faithful to her and then you can be proud of yourself, but instead you went out there and proved her right and proved yourself wrong, some way to be proud of yourself! Men like you don't even have an IQ, because it's just not possible that there can be any brains inside that head of yours!

Reply to Echelle
Posted by: funny | 2007/06/14

the funny thing is most of the answers come from woman, so we all know they are incappable of being all about if it was you, you have no feelings this and that..but scientifically speaking if you keep telling someone they are fools long enough they believe it...ever heard of Market Penetration. if you can put on your thinking caps you will see it. if someone accuses of cheating on you not.. i reckon you might as well cos you are freaking guilty already you might as well enjoy the benefits that domes with is annoying to be accussed of something you did not do and do not tell me you cannot relate to this.......coz yo all know that it is freaking true.....a

Reply to funny
Posted by: queen nefertitti of the nile | 2007/06/14

thats really mature! would you eat poo if she caklled you sH*tface?

Reply to queen nefertitti of the nile
Posted by: Keanu | 2007/06/14

Oh my word! It's either you are very ignorant or amazingly stupid! How old are you by the way? I agree fullheartedly with Pholi on this one.

Now I want to accuse you of sumthing:

You are a disgrace, you are wrong! You do not deserve your wife's committment anymore. You are homeless. You are wrong! You are stupid!

Please go now and follow the same route as you did with your wife's accusations: Be just that!

Reply to Keanu
Posted by: Pholi | 2007/06/14

My blood just boils when I learn about another person being cheated upon. You wanted to cheat , period. If your wife accused your of being a murderer , do you mean to tell me that you would go and kill somebody because she already thinks you are a murderer? No way , you are an opportunist ,you used that opportunity to serve your own selfish interests. If you are accused of being a thief , would you go around stealing because you've been accused? That's a lame excuse you are giving here . You wanted to do it and you did it , now bear the brunt.If anyone ever wants to hurt his spouse very very deeply and make his or her heart bleed as if its been stabbed with a dagger, simply cheat on your spouse , then you would have succeeded in inflicting the worst pain you could inflict on someone you love.

Reply to Pholi
Posted by: Old regular | 2007/06/14

For as long as you don't take ownership of your mistake, your wife will not forgive you. A bit of a cheek I'd say, screwing around and blaming your wife.

Reply to Old regular
Posted by: Pluto | 2007/06/14

The logic in your thinking is astounding...

Reply to Pluto
Posted by: Gracie | 2007/06/14

Instead of proving her wrong, you proved her RIGHT! Live with it!

Reply to Gracie

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