Posted by: Fallen apart | 2004/10/18

I cannot cope anymore

Hi doc. I have taken your advice and decided to put my house on the market. My brother is fetching my father this weekend to go and live with him as they can see I am a nervous wreck. I look terrible (lost weight and crying all the time). I have a continuous knot in my stomach and I'm dizzy all the time but here is my problem. How am I going to break the news to my father that he has to leave this weekend. He is going to be devastated and so am I but I cannot cope anymore. I feel physically ill and am constantly crying. My mom passed away 3 months ago and my father is going to feel even more lost.

I took an Esperide this morning to calm me down but I am dreading telling my dad he has to go. I just cannot cope with this situation I'm in. Please help me and make it all better for me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Morning, Fallen Apart,
I don't recall having advised anyone to put their house on the market -- I don't do real estate ! But I think I remember the dilemma you were in. Don't you need to be seeing a psychiatrist for help to sort out your own nervous state, so you can soon be better and happer, and able to cope ? And I understand how hard you will feel about telling your dad, but don't you need to simply sit and explain that you love him a great deal, but that right now you, yourself are sick, and unable to cope with the situation, and needing to go and get help for yourself, and so not able to provide the sort of care for him which you are sure that he deserves. And so you have arranged for him to go and live with your brother now, as this will be the best for him. And when yo are getting better yourself, you will again get in touch with him, and see what's the best way to go then.

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Our users say:
Posted by: TW | 2004/10/18

TAKE A DEEP BREATH... things weill be fine!!! :-)

Since he is going to stay with your brother mention to him that you arent feeling good these days and that your brother would also like to help your father out by having him stay with him for a while. It doesnt mean you are passing him around just explain that since you arent feeling well you feel it wouldnt be fair to your father as you will focusing on your self. This way he also gets to spend time with his son who is wanting to see him too...

IT will be fine and think about what you will say and mention how much you love him so he understands too.

The sooner you do this the better you will feel and wont have this tension building up in you that is properly making your sickness worse!

Reply to TW

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