Posted by: Me | 2008/12/16

I can' t take it anymore!!

Hey CS

I' m busy with a divorce. I decided not to cry and cry and cry all the time and go out and move on with my life. I met this wonderful guy whom I love dearly. I thought I was over everything, but recently I get flashbacks and how I felt when my husband left me. A part of me still loves him and still want him back, but he will never take me back. I don' t know how to deal with it! My heart is in pieces and I' ve never been so hurt in my whole life and I' ve been hurt many times. I don' t know how to forget about it! How many times will I feel like this? I feel like my heart will never be whole again! I miss my husband and it' s tearing me apart that I will never in a million years see him or hold him again. I want to really go on with my life and I don' t think it' s fair to feel like this if I have a new boyfriend, he deserves to be happy.

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Our expert says:
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Do remember that while you may indeed meet some nice guys while busy wioth a divorce, you will also meet some who appear to be nice but know that a divorcee is vulnerable and exploitable ; and that your emotions will be raw enouugh for some time afterwards to make any new close relationships risky.
Thinking of your ex, remember that you are remembering your love for what he was, not necessarily what he is or what he will be ; and that you are remembering the good PARTS of the relationship, and forgetting the presumably reasonable reasons you had for parting. See a counsellor, if necessary, to work through these uncomfortable emotions. Don't spoil future relationships by pining for what was but won't be again, and in paert for fantasies of what never actually wasm, but for what you wished had been

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Doogie | 2008/12/17

Hi Me

It is a cliche but time really does heal all wounds, I am in the process of going through an extremely drawn out divorce, the shock of realising that ones relationship with ones husband, or in my case wife is over and that that close bond that once existed is broken is extemely diffucult. There is a song by the Goo Goo Dolls - Here is Gone, that summed up my situation quite neatly. I have been in an unusual situation where I have had a lot of time to think through the divorce while it has been happening the best advice I can offer is that you look ahead and try to find the things that will make you as an individual whole person happy - in my case I joined the gym to try to get some of my self esteem back and I have been pouring my energy into fixing my home, and helping care for my son. The pain that you are going through is very real and an important part of healing the emotinal wounds but it will slowly get better and your dreams may not be what you imagined previously, they will be different but sometimes different is good maybe if you are lucky even great.

Reply to Doogie
Posted by: Me | 2008/12/16

Thank you CS and Candy

I know it will get better in time, but this time it will take longer, because I made a lifetime commitment and it was a shock to see him gone, the biggest shock ever! I could have been a better wife, but sometimes we only get one chance in life. I feel like dying at the moment.

Reply to Me
Posted by: candy | 2008/12/16

Hi dear i just want u to know u are not alone, u know i havnt been married, so i bet it must be harder for u, but i was in a relationship of one year we had problems he was never happy and satisfied, i tried my every best to make it work just so that he leave me and the next day he has a new girlfriend which he show off to the world like i havnt meant anything,,, problems started because of he' s jealousy, and make him not trust me and accuse me of cheating, all in his sick mind we would fight about it all the time, he made me feel like a cheap hore where i was commited to him only, just to show me he was not as inocent as he pretended, but im happy im out even if it was to end this way with pain and heart ache, girl just keep on thinking about all the bad things he did to u and that will keep u away from him,, as long as u think about the good times u will feel the way u feel,,,, and i can tell u if something is meant to be its, but not we can do anything to make it work , but it wount, so cry ur heart out maybe it will help u heal.........

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