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Posted by: CP MOM | 2007/08/21

I can't believe......

My child is so happy! I am absolutely shocked...she came to me last nite and says "nite mommy" I said why ? she said "my bed, tired" - she kissed and hugged me and went to bed, on her own she went to bed, put her nite light on and covered herself and slept till 5.30 this morning!

and then she use to have this habid (maybe you can explain CS?) she use to put (hide?) everything that was hers including shoes, toys, food under her bed...we use to joke if you cant find something then look under Charne's bed....it's been nite 3 and i looked this morning there is nothing under her bed!

This morning she asked me for her "sippers" (slippers), I put them on she said "hondjie pee pee" and she took her doggie down the stairs and took him to the grass!

When I left work yesterday I thought....I feel happy, why? Because I dont have to sit with fighting kids, I don't have to be referee, I dont have to force them to bath, I don't have to say "no cartoon network until homework is done", I don't have to cook what they like....I made pap and sous and varktjops for supper...Ne even said "i like dish" (I like this)!

This morning my co-worker sent me and email saying :

"jy lyk sominet happy since jy sominet gemove het.
sominet a observation"

Whenever I was alone last night I'd think....where would G be right now...jip he'd be at the bottelstore, so why am I lonely? I'd have been lonely in anycase as I was so often....

H25 I hope you read this, thank you for your post! As you say the time would come, you (and many others knew it) but we each have our own time hey?

Dankie Nina ook.

And of course CS thanks for all the years of support.

Love Mom

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Our expert says:
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Adult CP sums it all up very well indeed. She doesn't need to hide anything under her bed now, because she feels confident that nobody else ( like the other kids ) will interfere with anything. She's feeling more comfortable and confident, and of course she surely has much more of your own time to herself, and feels your availability more even when you're not specifically with her

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Tango | 2007/08/21

Good luck! Keep posting so you can continue to feel and receive encouragement!

Reply to Tango
Posted by: lady nina | 2007/08/21

kan ek maar se " i told you so!!"....

maak n lys van al die "goeie" dinge en geniet elke aspek
sodat wanneer die alleen tye kom jy daarna kan kyk en nie in n gat val nie ... wil nie negatief wees nie
wil net he jy moet voorberei wees

terwyl die "honeymoon" nou ann is kry n hobby of roetine wat vir jou werk en jou besig hou, skep nuwe dinge om die plek van die oue te vervang sodat mens nie te veel terug verlang nie - want glo my na n ruk vergeet mens al die goor goed en onthou ons net die lekker - stupid ek weet ...

nina

Reply to lady nina
Posted by: H25 | 2007/08/21

CP MOM

Your rewards are already bearing fruit! It can only get better now! Find yourself a nice hobby, I am sure if you stop and think about it there must be plenty of things you like that you never thought of or had time to think of when you were with G, being so busy etc.

Well done for making that very necessary move. The two of you will only thrive from it from now on. You will cherish your time with Ne even more now I am sure!

All the best.

Reply to H25
Posted by: Shae | 2007/08/21

Thats right. Especially if they gang up on her at times or make fun (you know how vicious kids can be). My mom an i lived with my gran until i was about 9 or 10. Moms sister and her two kids also lived there and they use to gang up one me and took my things like sweets i had saved, if i said anything they made life hel calling me selfish and general bitchiness. Thing was, i wasnt selfish, they always took everything and left me with little or none for myself, even toys, so i hid things. Its a good thing your daughter is ot there anymore as she would have grown up very defensive and withdrawn.

Reply to Shae
Posted by: CP MOM | 2007/08/21

I know...it makes me sad that I did not realize earlier that she was actually unhappy. Maybe when she use to ask when they are comming home she did not like I thought wanted them home but dreaded them comming?

Reply to CP MOM
Posted by: Shae | 2007/08/21

I picture your little girl hiding these things under her bed and it pulls at my heart strings. I did the same thing when i was little. Adult CP is right, its because she feels more secure. Well done on taking the decision to move onwad and upward, the benefits of doing so are already evident in your little girl.

Reply to Shae
Posted by: Adult CP | 2007/08/21

Yes, I can believe it. Ne is happy because her world is less hectic now. She has her own space and no other children to interfere with her things and most of all she has her mommy all to herself, which will make her feel so much more secure. Security and routine are very important to her.

Living with G family was stressful for both of you. Now you can both relax and be happy. Focus on living happily with Ne. She is such a good girl. Don't focus on being lonely. Think of something to keep your mind busy at night once Ne has gone to bed. For example puzzels or scrapbooking. Anything to keep your mind off G.

Remember Ne might not be able to express in words that she is happy, but her actions will tell you. (like not hiding her things under the bed anymore).

I am very sure that you have done the right thing for both of you. loneliness will lessen with time. Best of luck!

Reply to Adult CP
Posted by: Liz321 | 2007/08/21

Also congrats!! - the feeling of freedom is wonderful, enjoy it.

Reply to Liz321
Posted by: Hope* | 2007/08/21

Dear CP MOM, Good luck on your new start. You sound relieved and happy now and so does your LO. It was nice to read your post this morning.

Reply to Hope*

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