Posted by: Lordy | 2004/10/30

I am so p****d off

Yesterday afternoon my husband comes home smelling like perfume. He says he don't smell a thing, so HIS suggestion is, let's ask other people(weird I know). Asked 4 - all 4 have same answer - tshirt smells like smoke and perfume - but he still denying it. I haven't really trusted him in a long time. It's safe to say I probably won't believe anything he tells me. I have no concrete evidence that he's cheated or cheating. Just little things. Now his just sitting infront of TV and not saying a word. And so it will go on until he thinks "I've come to my senses". How do I explain it? I'm still with him because I don't have proof beyond a doubt and I genuinely love him, and I'm 3 months pregnant (but I don't have a problem with sex). But I think that because of his lies or just those little things in some way I just love him alot and love him less and less at the same time. I was thinking when did I become such a sorry ass because of a man? If I were just dating him and not really love him I would not give him the time of day. But I'm married to him, love him and preggies. I genuinely do not know what to do and how to handle it when someone just says I dunno what you talking about.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hmm, Lordy. He sounds like a politician --- if he doesn't like the result of the election, he wants a recount ! And though it's not quite "concrete" evidence, his extravagent lying about his smelly shirt is pretty convincing. How about (a) personal counselling for yourself, to work on the many issues you raise in your message, and (b) push him towards joining you in marriage counselling ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Norty me | 2004/11/01

My mother always said better to be pissed off than pissed on....

Reply to Norty me
Posted by: Zebra | 2004/10/31

Be assured that we think of you all weekend.
It is absolutely important to analyse this, but don't give up your marriage without considering everything - including saving it. Obviously he shall have to stop his games.

Reply to Zebra
Posted by: Lordy | 2004/10/31

He has not said much since then, his slept on the couch for the past 2 nights, I asked him why are you mad at ME, he said he's not mad, he simply fell asleep infront of the tv. Yesterday evening we were supposed to go to a friend's baby welcoming and he simply decided we're not going, and that was actually something I was looking forward to, at least just to get out of this house and atmosphere and to interact with other people. I am 29 and have been married for 7 years.

Reply to Lordy
Posted by: Oupa | 2004/10/30

As usual CS is right - please do and feel welcome back here where your friends reside.

Reply to Oupa
Posted by: Zebra | 2004/10/30

Dear Lordy,
There is the possibility that he is innocent, but...
You WANT to believe him, I don't need to believe him. If he is innocent, he has a weird way of showing it. I have a real big problem with paranoic women, but for him to manipulate you into believing such impossible explanations, is trying for too much. I wonder what age you are and how long you have been married. I also admire your principles not to run as a first strategy. My feeling is that he is guilty. Confront him and force him into some sort of councelling in order to word this out - either his guilt or you not trusting him. If you suggest that, you absolutelu MUST force it through, otherwise he will know that next time round he only need to sulk for a few days and you will give in. Good luck with your pregnancy - it is a beautifull time of your life. I know it is hard, especially over the weekend, but just believe in yourself! Let us know what happens.

Reply to Zebra

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