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Question
Posted by: Mskitty | 2005/07/20

I am so lonely

My fiance and I have been together for a year now. He has a very demanding job and the past month has been really tough.
We have fought alot. He does not pay attention to me anymore. He never phones me during the day. He never sends me emails or sms's. Yet he has time to go out with his friends. These friends are his new collueges. So he spends the whole day at work with them and after work. They are a bad influence, they all go out and cheat and lie and drink themselves into a state and go to strip joints. But my fiance can't see past that. He works late every night til after 12am. On weekends we attend his work functions - where his friends are and I get ignored. He also palys golf on the weekends. So he is never home and it is starting to get to me. I am not aloowed to go out and see my friends bcoz he does not trust me. I even have to ask him if I wanna go to the shop. All I do is sit at home alone every night. I am starting to get lonely. I wanna support him with his job but I also feel like I am coming last in his life. I feel like cheating on him just si I can have someone give me a little attention, but that is just the cowradly thing to do. If I confront him about it, then he land up fighting and then he wants to kick me out of the house.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I think there should be a constitutional amendment, forbidding anyone from expecting their partner to phone them during the day. When someone is at work, they're supposed to work, not noodle away with their lover on the phone. Now, if he is neglecting you at home, and going out without you, yet not ( ? "allowing" ? ) expecting you to go out with your own friends, then he's being unfair and showing double standards. OK, he may justifiably be busy at work, but to go out at night with work friends, and leave you sitting alone, is inconsiderate and selfish. Are you sure you want to stay with him ? Don't cheat on him, that doesn't do you any good

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: lolo | 2005/07/20

you really derserve better, move on and with time you will find the prefect guy who will treat you better.

Reply to lolo
Posted by: Ingy | 2005/07/20

Girl,u r a wonderful creature, so act like one. stand up for urself, don't try 2have something that u don't have. move on,u derseve better.

Reply to Ingy
Posted by: Sunshine | 2005/07/20

Well said Dee - I totally agree...
Take care Mskitty

Reply to Sunshine
Posted by: Dee | 2005/07/20

He wants to play games with your heart.He has other people keeping him occupied and he knows it wont last so he's making sure he keeps you around so he will have someone to go back to when it falls apart.To tell you the truth the best you can do is leave.Tell him why and leave,find a place of your own and cut ties,dont wait at the phone.He might realise his mistake and clean up his act or he might move on.Either way he will respect you for not standing up to his bull****

Reply to Dee
Posted by: Red | 2005/07/20

He's cheatin on u girlfriend... n da only reason he wants 2 keep u lockrd up at home is 2 make sure u do not cheat on him... Open ur eyes b4 it's 2 late .... it's impossiible 2 work untill 12pm every weekday .... he's keeping sum1 else warm while u r alone

Reply to Red
Posted by: Joanne E | 2005/07/20

And please don't cheat on him - just leave him.

Reply to Joanne E
Posted by: Lola | 2005/07/20

Him having a stressfull, busy work enviroment is absolutly no excuse to be treating you the way he is. If you go out with your friends, or question him he wants to kick you out?

Honey do me a favour, read your posting, and imagine it was about your best friend, what advise would you give her?

You have to seriously think about how it is going to be if you get married to this man, how will he treat you then. I would lay all my cards on the table, you deserve to be happy. If he is not the man who can provide you with love, care, and stability, move on girl, move on.

Reply to Lola

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