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Question
Posted by: nish | 2007/04/10

i am so angry i can spit at my father

can you believe it, my perfect dad turn out to be not so perfect, all my life i have been looking up to this man, hoping and praying that if i am lucky i will turn out to be atleast half the man he is, and then i find out he has another child with another woman i heard this from my cousin...i am so disgusted i can puke...

this is not the first time, he cheated on mom like ten years ago and back then when my mother was boiling with anger and frustration, i supported him, cos mom was the one making noise i thought she was guilty only later when i got atleast a bit older i blamed myself for supporting him,

on sunday while i was home , my cousin told me my brother wanted to propose a relationship with this lady who turn out to be his sister, he is laughing and my uncle is all giggling like my father is the man, i acted not surprised but i was mad as hell, and everybody in the familly knows this shit except me, i was told my mother knew abouth this last year/........

i am still mad at this bastard i call my father,tell me i am being not fair but i think i had the rights to know i had a sister, i feel the information should have been volunteered to me by my father... not my cousin....he has been complaining about my cousin he drinks and he brings home different girlfriends every week, this that this and he confront him with information like this .......if he is such a trouble why trust him than your own child....now i feel my cousin has more in common with him and he was just pretending his troublesome....

what is worse is that my half sister's mother died last year, all of a sudden i felt the need to now how she is, what she is eating and wanting to meet her but i am confused cause if i start probing my mother will be affected all over again..it seems he was not providing for this girl .. what kind of a perfect father would do this...i so mad at him but cannot tell him coz don't talk about all that.....i don't fuc kin know i am confused by all this shit .....

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Nobody's perfect. NOBODY. And people who pretend to be perfect are often the sneakiest of all. Be angry with him, by all means, for what he did, and for the lies he told, but not with him failing to be perfect

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: ai ai ai | 2007/04/10

hi c.
im so very glad to hear that.

it is great when we can break the example set to us, hey?

xox

Reply to ai ai ai
Posted by: C. | 2007/04/10

I'm handling it Aix3. On my own. Shrinks don't always work for everyone. I am now grown up with my own kid and wonderfull hubby, and that's all I need.
Hugs.

Reply to C.
Posted by: ai ai ai | 2007/04/10

jeeeez man why do you guys have to go through these things. why do people have children if they cant be a proper parent.

i feel sorry for you guys and i hope you can all get some closure in some way....

C., have you had counselling? you seem to be handling everything? or am i wrong?

lots of thoughts to you guys..

Reply to ai ai ai
Posted by: C. | 2007/04/10

May I share something with you Nish? I have been addopted. I know my biological mom and always loved her no matter what. She tossed all 5 of us aside, like you would throw out trash. Still I loved her. She made my life miserable and at 9 I attempted suicide. Still . . . I loved her. She never told me ANYTHING about my childhood, my family history, MY FATHER (I was removed from her at age 6!), yet still, I loved her. Parents make mistakes, hell, all of them do, but still, we MUST love them. They're the only parents we have. Why not talk to him about this and ask why he chose to keep it secret all these years? He DOES owe you an explanation, and you have EVERY RIGHT to know. Another tidbit, my father, who adopted me, molested me for ten long years, and you know what? I love the bastard, not for what he did wrong, but for those things he actually did right.

Reply to C.

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