Posted by: dan007 | 2009/02/18

i am paying my maintenance

i am paying my maintenace but i never see my kids is this fair i dont want to fight with the world but its been so long we dont know each other i dont know what they like and eat who there freinds are and i am starting to get depressed about it is this fair

its like her new hubby doesnt want me to see the kids
sould i keep paying or what.

its like i am just being used please give me some advice

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageDivorce support expert

Hi Dan007,

your financial responsibility should be looked at separately from your emotional responsibility.
what were the custody arrangements at the divorce? How come you seem to have lost so much contact with your children.
You sound distraught by it and this tells me this is not out of choice.
How old are your children?
It is important that a relationship be maintained for everyone's sake. Try and talk to your ex-wife about it expressing the true nature of your concerns.
You children need you as much as their mother.
If no rational understanding of the situation is possible it is advisable that you see someone to claim your legal rights.

SADSA can also offer you a post divorce parenting plan through counselling/coaching.

All the best.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: SADSA | 2009/02/24


you have been hurt and until you allow yourself to heal it will be hard for you to look at a better pattern of communication.
You owe it to yourself and to your children.

You can contact me directly for further queries.

All the best

Reply to SADSA
Posted by: philly | 2009/02/20

It is painfully what is happening to you i have been to that
scenario most of the divorced women are bitter and they
use children with me the are now grown up they come as
they wish to me and they confess that they mother used
to talk bad things about me but when they look at it they
found out all were lies but i told i divorced her because
her bad behaviour and disrespect she shown to me and
my family the magistrate will tell her that the kids must come
and see u as father alternatively on weekly basis but this
womens they do not comply no matter you can report nothing
is done to them because the law take sides a man is quilty before
u can state his case (eg) this womens they use this money for
the own things and their New Boyfriends not for childrens

Reply to philly
Posted by: dan007 | 2009/02/20

hi thankyou for your reply

i have sort of givn up when i do see them when she comes to fetch money we hardly greet the one day i was sitting with freinds and my oldest walked in 12 years oldand i didnt know if i sould kiss him hello or shake his had so i just put my hand on his shoulder said hozit and walked him out of the company to the car outside where my ex was waiting for her money .

my youngest was in the vehicle and he didnt even greet but all is ok there beacause he has always been a quiet boy.

i dont know what to feel or think any more i dont know if i want to be a part of these things anymore

it just doesnt help
i dont have very good communication slkills she hurt me in the past
please reply


Reply to dan007

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