Posted by: KC | 2008/10/15

I am having a hard time

Hi there,
I have recently immigrated. This decision was very sudden as we came here on holiday. I was offered a very good work position with a very high salary whilst here on holiday, Hence I never returned to South Africa, and my husband packed all of our stuff into a container and was also here within 3 weeks.
My problem is that I have an 18 month old, that has never once been apart from me. I am still breast feeding her. So now I have placed her into a creche. She cries teribbly when I leave, and is also now constantly getting sick. I feel as though my child is suffering due to my rash descion.My 8 and 11 year old seem to have settled, and my husband has settled a lot better than I have.
So Basically I feel as though i want to pack my household again and go home to SA. Due to this problem I am hating my job. I feel as though I am entering into a depression mode, I have never been a depressed person, but I wake up in the mornings with this feeling of emptyness.
My little one only goes to creche for approx 3 hours, but very soon she will have to stay for full day (until 5 o clock) I am afraid that she won`t be able to handle it.What can I do to make this change easier for her and me ?Winter is also going to a horrible thought. Unfortunetely the creche is our only option at this stage.It is A good, clean decent place. I just feel so sorry for my babyI am not taking this very well.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Many kids in this sort of situation become temporarily upset and then settle down. And they may pick up on your disquiet, too. Don't blame yourself. And if you moved back, the child would almos certainly stay as upset, and then settle exactly as she will if you remain where you are. Discuss things with the folks running the creche who surely have much more experience of this than you do, and even consider consulting a childcare expert or child shrink, depending on where you are now living.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: KC | 2008/10/16

That Is something I have concidered already.

Reply to KC
Posted by: Hello | 2008/10/15

I can be ur nanny,staying with u.Im in SA and always wanted to go abroad.If u dont mind,u can send me money and I will come join u and look after ur home and kids.What do u say??

Reply to Hello
Posted by: KC | 2008/10/15

Thanks CV,
This entire upset boils down to my LO. My family and lots of my friends are here with me. They also work, so they can`t
help me out with the LO.I do however have their full support.
I should be loving it here, It is a safe enviroment for my children and the job i am in is also supposed to be a " FUN" job...I just cant settle

Reply to KC
Posted by: CV | 2008/10/15

Hi. You normally post on Parent corner?

I might have the right advice for u , BUT I DO FEEL 4 u.
I can only say , that it did get better with my LO. I know i might not be able to compare as i am in SA and still have all the surpport of my family and friends. MAybe your feeling of emptiness is also abit - of missing you family and friends?

I do understand how STAINING it is on us as moms when our LO seem unhappy or distressed.

So all i can say is BEST OF LUCK and STRENGTH.

I hope your LO settles in soon.

Reply to CV

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