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Posted by: Abused | 2004/01/22

I am going to kill my brother-this is my confession.

Its just getting too much,
I am 22 & I live with my mother, 2 older brothers & grandmother. One of my brothers is a schitzophrenic. My grandmother is at home with him all day, the rest of us work. I work shifts-sometimes having to get up at 4am to get to work by 5am. My brother is not taking his meds properly & he is missing his injections-always with excuses like someone tried to steal his mental health card or someone was fought with him so he decided to come home instead. He only sleeps during the day so he is awake all night-walking up & down, the TV & radio blaring, Making coffee ect. I cannot sleep for my shifts. My mother stay on the other side of the house & takes tranquilizers so she doen't hear him, my grandmother stays in a granny flat so she doesn't hear him & my other brother has practically moved in with his girlfriend because he can't stand it.
He swears at us, threatens us, shouts at us & pushes us around & hits us. He writes things in a little book-really messed up sayings like "Play with fire & you will get burned" he changes it to "My family plays with fire & they will get burned & they deserve to get burned because they are not enlightened" ect. When my mom gets home he tells her this & she just agrees-instead of telling him he is not speaking any sense. She agrees "to calm him down & keep the peace" But by doing that she is letting him stay "sick"! I keep telling her when he speaks nonsense she must correct him-when he treats us badly she must tell him his behaviour is unacceptable (He even swears at my 85 year old grandmother-I'm sure she hasn't been talked to like that in her entire lifetime & she should'nt be talked to in that manner now!) Whatever he does-if he keeps me awake all night, if he steals my money, if he swears at me, if he takes my INTEC study books & scribbles all over it my mother comes up with the excuse "He has a mental illness-its all the illness talking, you have a job just make more money or buy new books' & her favourite "I work too, I don't have time to take him to get committed or re-evaluated-why don't you do it" I HATE him I HATE him so much. He molested me when I was 9 & I never told my mother. Now when I get dressed up to go out & he whistles at me, or if I am tanning he leers at me, sometimes he tries to brush up against me when we walk past each other in the passage & I cannot describe the revulsion or the intense hatred I feel. But do I tell my m,other he molested me? If I do will she blame it on his illness & tell me it was years ago & I must just get over it? If she does I swear to God I will slap her. You get born with a mental illness but I am damn sure your experiences can make you crazy too & being around this is really making me crazy. I am frustrated, depressed, angry, short tempered-I can't believe my mother is making the WHOLE family suffer like this. We shouldn't have to live this way! I know hate is a strong word but I am seriously starting to hate my mother for putting us through this. I am to the point where I am angry enough to quit my job go home & actually kill my brother as brutally as possible, then call the police & say "I just killed my brother-mental illness runs in my family & I think I just snapped." Maybe then I can go for a little holiday in the looney bin, come home & act like an ass just the way he did & get away with it. I am tried of the pain, I am tired of crying, I am tired of being angry, I am tired of living with abuse evey single day of my life & I will not be a victim anymore! It will only take 1 more thing to make me snap...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear Abused,
Undoubedly, you are describing a terrible situation you are having to put up with, enormously distressing and frustrating. I'm sure you realize, especially when feeling less awfully angry, that while it is indeed important that you should find a way to free yourself from experiencing this area of life as living as a victim, that taking steps towards harming your brother would not only be wrong, but would increase your amount of suffering, as well. However angry thios situation makes you, do NOT act in any way so as to harm your brother --- that will be seriously harmful to yourself and your gran as well.
A major part of your problem is that too many other people are not meeting their responsibilities. Your gran sounds like she's doing the best she can, but your mom seems to be avoiding the real issues, with as much Denial of the reality of the situation as she can manage.
But the people who sound as if they're most thoroughly failing in their duty, are the doctors and nurses at the clinic or hospital where your brother is under treatment. They are supposed to be supervising his treatment, and making absolutely sure that he receives his injections and takes his medication, and to be repeatedly assessing his state of mind, as they surely know that he can be very disordered in his thoughts and irresponsible in his actions. They should not let someone like this slip between the cracks without noticing that he is not getting them medicines he should ; and they should have access to community nurses who can and ought to do home-visits to see why he isn't coming in, and to be sure what's happening.
You really need to get into contact with the doctor in charge of his case, and maybe the head nurse at the clinic or ward where he is being treated, and make it entirely clear that he is not getting his bedication, is being dangerously threatening and indicating possible arson, rape and assault towards you and other members of your family, and needs to be sectioned and re-admitted to the hospital, and that you will make sure that that doctor and nurse and their colleagues will be held directly responsible for any further damage he causes due to their lack of proper levels of care.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Ja | 2004/01/23

Kill this Phsyco!!!

Reply to Ja
Posted by: :) | 2004/01/23

Please move out of that house,for your safety and mental health.Surely there must be helpline's you can call.They will direct you where to go for help.Maybe thay can get through to your mother?There must be something!!

Reply to :)
Posted by: Penny | 2004/01/23

It seems like u r more angry with your brother for molesting u when u were 9 years old. The fact that u did not tell anyone makes u stress, and u r now angry with your mom for not being there for u then when u needed a sholder to cry on.

What u need to do is to scream at your mom tell her about what happened years ago, she will listen and see your brother for what he is, i am sure your brother sometimes does wrong unforgiveble things, knowing that people will just blame it on his sickness, the problem is he does it with a clear mind.

Dont hate your mom, she is just trying to keep peace in the house, it is difficult for her as much as it is for u its not easy having a abusive child. She just does not know what to do, coz she feels sorry for your brother.

Tell your mom and the police what happened years ago and what is happening now with your brother they will lock him up in an institution, at list you wont have to kill him and go to jail. U have a lot coming up your way coz u r still young

Reply to Penny
Posted by: KK | 2004/01/23

I agree with all. To Abused, you only have one life to live live it happy,healthy and freely. If you can't get this at home go find your own place, it's a taugh idea and change but you have no other option. You have already spoken to your mother and she excuses him of his illness. Think of yourself it's not selfish at this stage, you looking out on yourself. For the molestation that he has commited, I think he knows what he has done and once another opportunity appears he will use it, seek for yourself some one who will help you with your anger and frustration for it does not leave by itself especially if you have been exposed to that type of environment.

My advise is find help for your emotions and make peace with the past, move on and move out you do not deserve to be a victim. you work-hard enough,'its up to you to stop this abuse"MOVE OUT NOW.

Reply to KK
Posted by: qwertyui | 2004/01/23

Wow I feel for you bru,

Like the others said your only option here is to get out of the house I know that sometimes this is hard but killing him is only going to make your life worse. Listen you will go to jail and be molested for the rest of your life rather put up with one crazy dude than a whole jail full of them.

Hang in there set yourself a goal and achieve it, I think that you should make getting out of that house priority number one.

Hang in there buddy you sound like a good oak

Reply to qwertyui
Posted by: Soul | 2004/01/23

Hi Abused

I agree with Someone. Don't do anything rash you're still young and have your whole life ahead of you. I can understand your frustration and your all going through it and your Mom might be feeling the same way you do, but as long as this continues it's only going to get worse.
Try speaking to your Mom and let her know something has to be done and soon cause if it's not she will be alone to deal with your brother.
I just have one question you don't mentsion anything about your Father where is he, is he helping out at all?
Get out and stay some place else.

Take Care I hope things work out for you.
Soul

Reply to Soul
Posted by: someone | 2004/01/23

Dear Abused

Maybe you should move out that house..perhaps in with a friend to get yourself settled. Why not make an appointment with either the doctor, nurse or social worker at the place where he gets his meds and explain the situation to them. They should be able to direct you in the right direction whether to get him committed or not. Granted that your family may be peaved with you, but hey, it's your life as well. You're right, you shouldn't be a victim anymore and should take a stand for something you feel is right, even if others don't see your viewpoint.
You have a job, squeeze off a few pennies to save for accomodation elsewhere.
Get out before you snap...don't do something in anger, you'll only make it worse on yourself in the long run...for now, get out.

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