Posted by: nn | 2008/10/13

I am damaged goods

In 2005 I broke up with my fiance’  –  we were together for 18 months. The break up was pretty bad and when we broke up I just changed completely as a person. I started having a resentment towards men. I did not want to compromise –  I was selfish and nasty. I managed to find a guy after 8 months of being single and I was just so hard on him. I was uncaring, unloving, always breaking him down and always getting irritated with him. When I look back now, I have never been treated so nicely in my entire life. Then I got back with my ex and we were together for another year. We broke up 2 months ago and I met a really awesome guy. But I get freaked out with him being so nice to me. I am not used to being treated so nicely and in a way it turns me off. My ex always used to ignore and he was always doing his own thing and not really doing anything special for me. I am not used to someone wanting to spend time with me or complimenting me or even wanting to make love to me. And last night I freaked out because this new guy was being affectionate to me. Yes I know it is sad but I feel like my ex has really damaged me. He has turned me into this cold hearted person who does not feel like I am worth anything good. And when something really really good comes my way –  I mess it up. I fear that I will always be damaged because of my ex.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

See a counsellor, preferably of the CBT form, and work on sorting this out. Its ideal when, as you seem to be describing, someone is handicapped by bad habits of thought and behaviour relating to previous experiences in life

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Our users say:
Posted by: Hope* | 2008/10/13

You may see yourself as damaged goods, but you need the love and kindness to repair the damage. Allow yourself to be loved and cared for. Take care.

Reply to Hope*

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