Posted by: lucy | 2012/12/04

hypnosis to get over an infatuation

hi Doc,
Ive had a crush on a guy for almost a year now, Saturday I made my feelings known, only to hear that he doesnt feel the same about me. I was shattered, ashamed, rejected and feeling very sorry for myself, so I went on theworld wide web and discovered hypnosis for overcoming an infatuation. what ae your thougts on this type of self-hypnosis, isit worth spending money on? or should i just wait it out until i finally stop remembering every single detail of every single coversation about this guy?

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Our expert says:
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HYpnosis is hooey, especially in such circumstances, and invariably seeking hypnosis in this sort of situation means you're looking for Magic, for someone to wave his hands and everything will be lovely again. It doesn't work like that.
You had a crush - that is, generally, an imaginary and fantasy relationship, created on your side, and of which the other person is usually unaware. There was probably no good reason to expect him to feel the same about you.
It might have been wiser to recognize this fantasy for what it wass, and at most to approach the issue with him gently and vaguely, to explore how he might feel, rather than start with excessively high hopes assuming he'd be as madly in love with you, and then feel so awfully diappointed.
You were mistaken - sad, but no reason to be shattered or ashamed of yourself. Learn what you can from the experience and be wiser from now on.
When you find yourself unhelpfully brooding about this and trying to remember evbery conversation you ever had with him, stop doing so, and lap away the idea as though it was a fly bizziong round and annoying you. DOn't infulge in these sessions, which are of no value to you whatever.
YOu sound very young, and underoccupied - get yourself really busy with whatever eholesome and useful activities you can. top reduce or remove time available for mooning about thinking about the relationship That Never Was - its like when you're younger and lose a tooth, and keep sticking your tongue into the whole where the tooth was - it delays healing of the socket ( and in this case, there never was a tooth ).
Hypnosis is not adviseable for such a situation, and hypnosis from anyone considering themselves a "hypnotherapist" is ALWAYS a bad idea.
Hypnosis is only very occasionally useful, when used by a proper mental health professional, a psychologist or psychiatrist as one small part of a larger plan of treatment of a properly diagnosed condition. It is pointless to spend money on an unproven remedy provided by someone without the best possible credentials.
If you can't stop yourself indulging in these obsessive thoughts about the fantasy, see a psychologist or licensed counsellor for proper counselling, to review this in a broader picture and find better ways to move beyond this and be wiser in the future.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2012/12/04

I suspect this is one of those things that might work if you expected it to work, and the opposite is also true.

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