Our expert says:
If she's really a WICKED stepmother, does he like her ? If not, the very idea that he might be getting like her in any way might be enough for him to revise his habits ? Is there any substitute for calmly and pleasantly talking with him about what is bothering you ? You could imply that you assume he also finds her standards of cleanliness disturbing, and sympathize with him.
But if he chooses to live in such squalor ( and he could keep his own room clean, at least ) and even lice, why would you want to say with such a guy ? And none of that would be a sign of maturity on his part.
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