Posted by: Anon for this | 2009/04/15

Husbands jealousy

Hi Doc,

My husband is convinced that I had or even now have feelings for my ex boss. this has been going on for over a year now and although I dont work for him anymore my husband is still on about the " fact"  that he KNOWS there was something there and no matter what I say or do I am lying to him about it and he wants me to " come clean" . I cannot as I have never thought of my ex boss in that manner and definately did not harbour any sexual fantasies about the man. It has basically now come to the point where my husband would rather destroy our marriage than believe me. I dont know what else to do as the subject makes me extremely angry because it is so ridiculous. I dont want to lose my husband but I also dont want to carry on like this. What can I say to him to make him stop before it is too late?

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Our expert says:
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Where someone has reached a conclusion not based on evidencd, but rather a preceding sense of certainty, they are not open to being reasoned out of it. Resist the temptation fo "come clean" to something that didn't happen, as that will nto satisfy him, and will only make things worse. Without admitting that something which didn't happen, happened --- could you persuade him to join you in mariage counselling, even if he has to see it as intended to deal with "your" problem ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kems | 2009/04/15

Take a polygraph and prove it to him ....

Reply to Kems
Posted by: Striker | 2009/04/15

Jealousy is a sickness. I dont think ur husband will ever change. If its not about ur ex boss, there will be somebody or something else. It just carries on and on and on and on until u get so tired of it that u eventually start having an affair just to proof him right. I think ur stuck with his jealousy for the rest of ur life. Its for u to decide if u r willing to accept it.

Reply to Striker
Posted by: Liza | 2009/04/15

Deja vu! Try counselling. Perhaps there is something else that is bothering him and he' s just using this ' problem'  as an excuse. Not that counselling helped in the end when I had the same problem with my ex-husband. (Note the ex). At the end of my story it turned out that HE was the one with reason to feel guilty...

Good Luck

Reply to Liza

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