Posted by: Linda | 2008/07/07

Husband spying on me

I'm writing this with my eyes full of tears.
Yesterday i discovered that my husband is sending people to spy on me, he works for a secret agent.
He was drunk, and he told me that he knows who i talk to everyday. He gave me an example he knows that las week on Thursday i went to the bank, post office and wimpy.
I was shocked, i could not believe it, he is a very jealous person he's forever accusing me cheating on him.

We have been to counselling it's not helping, instead he is
becoming more paranoid.

I have never cheated on him and he knows that, instead he's the one who did that..

I need your honest opinions, i have no energy to do anything i am very angry.


Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It may be wise for you to see a shrink of your own, to discuss this situation and to carefully explore your options for dealing with it. If indeed he is paranoid and spying on you, in more extreme forms such a condition can become dangerous, if he refuses to accept that he may have a problem or to seek proper treatment for it. What did the counsellor think about your jusband's condition ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Linda | 2008/07/08

Thanx guys

All yo answers are very true.


SC i'll do that, 2 c a shrink on my own, otherwise i'll have to move out before he kills me.

Once more,


Reply to Linda
Posted by: Gracie | 2008/07/08

Maybe he is guilty of the things he is accusing you of! There is a saying in Afrikaans, something like this : "As jy iemand agter die deur soek, is omdat jy self daar staan". It sounds as though your husband has some serious issues. I don't mean to scare you, but rather be careful and take his threats seriously! Don't do or say anything to annoy or anger him. To be very honest with you, I would not stay in a relationship with an unstable person (I say that 'cos he sounds unstable). If therapy or counselling does not help, what will help? You cannot go through life looking over your shoulder and being too afraid to do anything or go somewhere because your sicko husband is spying on you. We have read too often about people who have committed serious crimes because of jealousy and possessiveness. Please think carefully about what you want in life - is it worth it to live with a man who distrusts you and spies on you? Good luck, I really hope you find a solution to this very distressing problem.

Reply to Gracie
Posted by: Just me | 2008/07/07

Dear Linda,

I agree that your husband is extremely insecure….for him to go to such lengths…He also knows what he is capable of doing..and expects you to do the cheating etc..thus the mistrust. The fact that he mentioned what he is doing…maybe he wants to kinda “warn” if to say..don’t try anything, cos I’m watching you! You know the saying …if you spot it…you got it! If counselling doesn’t help..I suggest you seriously think about what this is doing to your relationship….Sometimes it’s easier to stay in an unhappy relationship than to move on…but the right thing is always the hardest to do…. And that would be to move on…
All the best

Reply to Just me
Posted by: Jenny (aka Nadine) | 2008/07/07

I think its all about control. It makes him feel powerful telling you that he knows what you've been doing. He is insecure and needs to grow up.

Reply to Jenny (aka Nadine)
Posted by: SR | 2008/07/07

Well he is stupid and insecure. Ok lets say for a moment you were cheating. He makes a poor ass attempt at being a sleuth and confides in the person about his actions?

Secondly if you are innocent just know that you are married to a stupid and insecure person.

Reply to SR

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.