Our expert says:
Conf, I disagree with Spooky on this one, unusually, because I think his response concentrates too much on what you ought to do "if you love him" and seems to ignore what he would have done, and what he still would do, if he loved you. Which is actually the point in question. This oher woman isn't an innocent dogooder --- I really doubt she's from the Salvation Army--- and the moment she even suggested she "loved" him, he should have told you about the problem and run a mile from her, after telling her to never contact him again.
If you want the mariage to be able to continue, and if he does, marriage counselling might manage to salvage things if he's prepared to start being honest and mend his ways ; otherwise think seriously about alternatives. So far he's showing a stubborn inability to learn from his mistakes.
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