Our expert says:
Divorce support expert
the shock you are in must be close to unmeasurable.
This is not the first time he abandons you. You took him back in good faith and yet he still betrayed you. It must feel like you have lived a lie all these years and that you have been used. I know, it happened to me too.
It is time for you to focus on your needs now and accept that you deserve better. His behaviour has nothing to do with you even if you were the recipient. Do not find excuses for him or his behaviour.
You are concerned about your children and rightfully so, however remaining in a relationship which serves no example of honesty, integrity and respect will not benefit your children. You cannot force your husband to change or change his attitude towards his children but you can change yourself and make new choices in your life which will benefit you and your children.
You say you do not believe in divorce and rather stay separated. This is a crucial statement in your position right now. You are scared to let go and move on, but are you sure you want to keep this man "attached" to your life? Yes, he is the father of your children and however little his relationship with them, and it may change over time, your parenting roles should become defined to your personal life. You need to define your boundaries. Emotionally abusive relationship can be very damaging but not necessarily recognised. Your son's "difficult" behaviour is an indication that he picks up on that. Once you claim your happiness and find stability back in your life, so will he.
SADSA - Pre and Post Divorce Coaching available individually or in groups.
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