Posted by: M | 2008/08/05

Husband not interested in Sex

Hi, I am 33 and my husband 32 - we been together for 13 years of which we are married 3. My problem is that in the 1st year of our marraige we only had sex 11 times, the second year (when I was pregnant) only 5 times and this year so far also only 5 times. My husband is a goodlooking sportsperson and I am a bit overweight at the time but very attractive.

He is never in the mood - before we were married there were always excuses why we shouldn' t do it - from scared I fall pregnant to he can' t have sex when he playing rugby on the weekend. He even told me several times that I am pressuring him to much.

We are seeing someone professional at the moment - but this issue never gets discussed - like life coaching - I' ve mentioned that our intimacy is a huge problem for me.

I am also starting to think he might be gay?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There seem to have been rather a lot of messages on this particular topic, lately. I"m certain that your undoubted attractiveness is not a factor in this. If he only managed 11 times in the first year, either there is something ( psychological or physical ) reducing his normal libido ( sex drive ) or he has a rather low libido naturally. Life coaching is rubbish, with no adequate training for a nebulous job and a non-existent "profession", and no life coach would be capable of recognizing or helping with any significant sexual or emotional problem. The pair of you would do FAR, far better to see a good local marriage counsellor from FAMSA, to work on these issues ; and no competent properly trained counsellor could see you for more than 1 or 2 sessions without discovering this problem of low libido and its impact on you.
Of course he MIGHt be gay, as its quite a common state, but there are other more likely reasons for a low libido, most of which can be remedied.

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Our users say:
Posted by: M | 2008/08/06

Hi Cybershrink, thanks for your input. What bugged me even more is the fact that this is not a problem for him at all. After two years he only agreed upon seeing someone because I said I was going to leave him. Otherwise he would have never admitted there was a problem.

Where do I get the number for a good local marraige counsellor.


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