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Question
Posted by: elly | 2004/11/23

husband never communicates

I have a problem with my husband. He never communicates when he is not drunk. If he have problems he always wait until he got something in. He said that he is going back to his mom she stays in the platteland because i spent to much time with my son. he is jealous when i talk to my son in the room or sit next to him watching tv. my son is of my previous marraige. i feel my husband is very childish.

I said to him that he must talk with me when he is sober but when he is sober then he dont answer me if i speak to him.

my son is 16.his words is that he also have a mother that is always there for him. he is very abnormal with the relationship with his mother. he said she will never die. she will always be there for him.she is 70.he and his mother are very fond of each other.

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Our expert says:
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Well, elly, I suppose your husband is being childish, and showing a great degree of insecurity, but you may find it more useful to try to understansd this and to work with it. It's sad to hear of someone too scared to find the confidence even to talk to his wife, unless he is drunk first. I wouldn't pass judgement on the extreme closeness of his relationship with his mother, but of course one can see an enormous problem looming - if he tries to think that she will live forever, well, we all know that she will not, and that unless he manages to grow up and become more independent, he will probably be devastated when she does die. COuld you manage to persuade him to join you in some marriage counselling, to work on these issues, for the sake of all of you ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: lulu | 2004/11/23

Your husband is waaayyyy past jealous. This borders on sick. His relationship with you is just a substitute for his mother.

As for the drinking: He obviously has to get "courage" to speak to you when something bothers him. This is not healthy, and I would suggest that the two of you see a therapist for this problem. Easy to overcome when you get the right guidance.

Good luck!

Reply to lulu

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