Posted by: Hopeless | 2008/06/24

Husband needs help

My husband is addicted to watching porn and chatting with other women on dating lines. It's 5 years now .. I can't take it anymore. I keep on warning him and he keeps on promise ... but ... he doesn't stop. I want him to go and see someone who can help him. Where can I get them name of such a person in the Western Cape?

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Our expert says:
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This isn't a true addiction, but a bad habit. His promises are worthless, and nothing can be done unless and until he recognizes that this is a problem for him, you and the marriage, and instead of empty promises, he should see a good local shrink for assessment and help, probably best with Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ( CBT ). As Lin wisely says, too, seeing a marriage counsellor from FAMSA, TOGETHER, would also help.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lin | 2008/06/24

The best for both of you would be to seek the help of a relationship counsellor. (FAMSA). During these sessions you'll be able to learn to communicate effectively with one another. He can also go for individual counselling to sort out his addiction. Try googling FAMSA for a branch close to you.

Reply to Lin
Posted by: Cassy | 2008/06/24

I agree with Maria. If he doesn't admit he has a problem and does not want to stop it would be a complete waste of time and money seeking help for him. He doesn't seem to appreciate you the way a husband is supposed to with his wife. If he cares about you enough he will go out of his way to sort out this problem. This probably hurts tremendously being his wife. He should know this and stop immediately. If he doesn't give him a warning. Tell him that you would be better off with a man that appreciates what he has at home in the bedroom, instead of seeking dirty meaningless whatever you wanna call it outside your marriage. I hope it works out for the both of you. If it doesn't i hope you find someone who can truly appreciate you.

Reply to Cassy
Posted by: Maria | 2008/06/24

It's truely a terrible situation that you're in. Unfortunately nobody can help your husband unless he is willing to admit that he has a problem, and sincerely wants to stop.

Reply to Maria

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