Our expert says:
Marriages go through rough patches often when men go through huge stress. We find it difficlut to express our emotions, so I am glad he is seeing a therapist. Men see themselves streotypically as providers and when we can't do that anymore, our egos take a battering and men often choose "exits", one of them typically being alcohol.
It seems his self esteem and self image have been beaten somewhat, so he will sink into himself.
Alcohol, unfortunately, can make people aggressive.
People's "value" is often bound up in the value we see adding to other's lives.
Sex is a very intimate thing and will take huge dips when people suddenly find themselves with the responsibilty of not only caring for themselves and their families, but also for others too.
What he is going through is "normal" for an abnormal situation. If possible, try to speak to him when he is not drinking about your concerns.
We cannot stay in an eteranl "in love" state, love grows, deepens and changes, but it remains a constant. It must be hard for you to hear him saying this.
How old are you both?
I suggest you try to get hold of a book called "The Irritable Male Syndrome" by Jed Diamond or visit www.theirritablemale.com. There is very useful info there and questionnaires that your husband can fill out.
Life Coach for Men
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