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Question
Posted by: Maggie | 2004/11/15

Husband killing me softly!

Hi everybody.

I just send an e-mail that I rcvd from our HR to my husband that I must be in training at the office for 4 days. I did tell him in person because I know we will fight, it irritates him that I'm working and spending my time with other people! I took the coward way and to just send the e-mail from our HR. His reply to me was "What the F***k ever!

I'm sad and I wish financialy I could just resign and be there for him only I love him with all my heart and soul and he hates my work and dislike the people I work with, he's never met them! and I'm afraid of what will happen if he does! we've been married for 20 years and have two lovely kids!

Why cant he accept that I have a job and I need to be in meetings and training etc.

I feel like moving out this has been going on for over 2 years now and mentally I can not take it anymore?

PLEASE HELP

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

he doesn't deserve so much love, if he is, as it sounds, loving so selfishly. If you find your work sustaining and satisfying, keep with it. His jealousy at even the thought of sharing you with anyone else is deplorable. He is immature and greedy and selfish, and clearly needs counselling himself, but is highly unlikely to have the guts to accept that he needs it and to cooperate with it. Maybe explore, with the support of your family, a realistic option of moving out and continuing to care properly for yourself and your kids. Maybe he needs to learn that is he refuses to share you normally with others in your work life, he may lose you altogether.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Shazz | 2004/11/15

Maggie, what if he is jealous? You might be earning more than what he does and he doesnt like it. Also you seem to be enjoying your work, maybe he isnt enjoying his. Why not try and sit down and talk to him. Ask him what he has got against you working and then you explain why you like it so much. If he has got an inferiority complex that would pretty much explain everything. Just make sure that you keep the lines of communication open, thats the most important thing.

Reply to Shazz
Posted by: nicky | 2004/11/15

Is your Husband working? Because it sound like he has inferiority complex, and does not want to see u suceed.

Reply to nicky
Posted by: Mona | 2004/11/15

Sounds like he is possesive and doesnt trust you at all. Bet he would lock you up the house if he could. Suggest councelling, and if he doesnt want to, then a seperation period. Life is too short to be unhappy and sit and worry about how is gonna react!

Reply to Mona
Posted by: Maggie | 2004/11/15

I'm a product manager in marketing, I work from 8:00 to 4;00 everyday, I attend a lot of meetings during office hours and go to TV and Radio approvals and recordings etc... I always phone him when I go into a meeting or when I leave the office to attend a meeting etc... he knows my where abouts at all times!

Reply to Maggie
Posted by: G | 2004/11/15

Maggie your husband is very short sighted I agree with Paul he needs to catch a wake up in todays times it is advisable for both to work you sound more like a slave than a wife you are not there to meet all his needs dont just give up to please him and dont end up a statistic at age 40 45 dwf no career because want to please your hubby yes please him but dont bow to him

Reply to G
Posted by: Paul | 2004/11/15

Your husband is terribly insecure and that will need to be sorted hand in hand with a good therapist, not you but him, he needs the help;

Reply to Paul
Posted by: Mona | 2004/11/15

What type of work do you do?

Reply to Mona
Posted by: Maggie | 2004/11/15

Hi Mona,

Training is at the office from 8:30 - 4:00. If I just mention the people at the office or my work that I do he gets upset, I hardly speak about them because it irrates him!

Reply to Maggie
Posted by: Mona | 2004/11/15

Does this training involve you staying overnight? If not, then i cant see why he should be upset, its still just like going to work?? And why doesnt he like the people, did he maybe form that opinion from things that you have told him about them?

Reply to Mona

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