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Question
Posted by: nova | 2004/11/06

husband ignores my ideas

why does my husband reject or ignore every idea i have for holidays, home decoration, leisure pursuits, handling our teens, even philosophical discussions, etc yet he can get the identical idea from someone else and suddenly it is god's word

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Our expert says:
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I'm guessing firstly that this has been a long-running issue, rather than a very new development ? We'll see what other spouses have to say about this when they return from the weekend, but sadly this isn';t an uncommon problem, and its usually related to the spouse's lack of self-confidence, especially, in a husband, when he has old-fashioned ideas about the role of men and women. If he finds that on these topics he doesn't have any good ideas, and you do, he feels inferior and tries to pooh-pooh your views, in a sad attempt to uphold his view of himself as more clever and original. When the same idea comes from someone else, he can adopt their point of view and make it his own, which, of course, makes it brilliant and correct.
Marriage counseling can help in some cases ; but he'd probably only agree if somebody else suggested it, I suppose ?

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