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Question
Posted by: nova2 | 2004/11/06

husband ignores my ideas 2

I can so much sympathise with nova. My husband is exactly the same.(i.e. disrespects me, respects others). He is a person who has always had a pretty good self-image except that he was once selfconscious that he came from "the wrong side of the tracks"(however, he is now a self-made man and can be proud of his achievements). I on the other hand, have always been short of self-confidence but I come from a really good background and i am proud of it although i have never said so to my husband. In fact the topic has never been discussed between us. This problem of him disregarding my wishes and disrespecting my opinions is something that was non-existent at the beginning of our marriage but has grown gradually over many years (30 years!) and is now extremely obvious to everyone. I have discussed it with family, friends and mutual acquaintances to try and see if I am doing something wrong. They all know I am a straightforward person who doesn't take offence and they all feel I am blameless, so what can I do?

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Our expert says:
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Sounds very like a question I very recently answered, doesn't it ? And 2cents contribution is really excellent, and exactly right. Boost his confidence and ego, and use the comon skill practised by women through the ages, to make him think that your best ideas are his, and he'll agre very time.

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Our users say:
Posted by: 2cents | 2004/11/06

Like you i've been married for ±30 years, same problem - different reason - my husband doesnt have a good education and i think that has always bugged him. So he will never give my "brains" credit. But i have noticed that when he does well in other areas and feels good about himself, he is more "lenient. So the answer seems to be to build he's confidence, dont harp on your own strengths andgood points. He must be only tooo aware of them. I 'm talking about having a good relationship,
not just flattering him.
I know its hard but try not to let it get you down.

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