Posted by: Mia the Bee | 2008/11/26

Husband going out during the week

Hi everyone.

Is it acceptable for my husband to go out for drinks every weekend (alone)? It is not that he doesn' t party every weekend.

Please, please, tell me if it acceptable.

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Our expert says:
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Its very obviously not acceptable to you, and that's all that is important, and something he ought to be concerned about. Maybe you should from time to time, unexpectedly, accept the invitation to go along, and see what happens

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Our users say:
Posted by: Babs | 2008/11/26

I had the same problem and i left my partner after 3 years together and one child. Like CV says it got worse as time went on, getting later and later. It was every weekend and he could not understand why i had the problem. If you have a problem with it he should recognise and acknowledge that his behaviour is hurting you. By him refusing to see your side and carrying on regardless, shows you are not so important in his life. I dont have a problem with going out with friends, but there should also be times that you go out together, or as a family. its not all about him and his social life. He can turn down his friends invitation and say no I want to spend this friday with my wife and children instead. If he wanted to he would do it. I just realized he preferred spending time with other people, not with me and his child. He would tell me ' i see you every day.'  Never mind that our quality time spent together was very limited. I was never invited out to go along. Now after leaving him I see it even more plainly as he has abandoned all parental duties and doesnt even contact us anymore, he is too busy enjoying the single social life.
I dont have a simple answer as such as to what you should do, but i feel that if it bothers you to this extent then something has to be done, because it is going to damage your relationship if he carries on like this. You have to give him an ultimatum and see what he does with it. Also try and organise more family times out and times you go out together without kids.
Mia maybe you can go out but leave early together so you can still get up for work?
At the end of the day actions speak louder than words, he can tell you he loves you all he wants, but he s to show you he does by listening to how you feel, and showing you he enjoys spending time with you more than anybody else.

Reply to Babs
Posted by: CV | 2008/11/26

Mia the Bee

Hi i have the same problem....... EVERY friday nite.... and im left with the kids. It used to be after work till mayb 7 or 8 pm, now its getting later and later like 1 or 2 o clock on a Sat morning. It really Pi$$es me off but he doesn' t see anything wrong with wots his doing , cos like he says my breother is with . BUT I KNOW WHAT MY BROTHERS GET UP TOO and that is the problem. Before if he came home later than he said at least the next morning he would apologise NOW.... even that has stopped. I go to sleeping crying some Fridays cos i would neva do that to him . So i have an idea about what u are feeling and i of course don' t feel its acceptable BUT .... i don' t know what to do to change it

Reply to CV
Posted by: Nozi | 2008/11/26

Yeah soon he' ll meet someone else, say you boring, and his friends will never let on even if someone comes along.

Reply to Nozi
Posted by: Mia the Bee | 2008/11/26

He is not going alone, what I meant was that he goes without me, but always with friends. I am always invited, but I can' t join them as I get up very early in the mornings for work, and he knows that.

Reply to Mia the Bee
Posted by: Nozi | 2008/11/26

Depends on the crowd his out with, do you know them, do you trust them?where his at. if you decide to pitch up would you find him there, on the other hand his being selfish, why must you sit home every weekend while his out, sit him down and thrash the matter out, why can' t he invite you if it' s innocent.Lots of pros and cons to weigh here, mine did likewise and was picked up in a pub and then it was hell, as this loose dog wanted me out the house and she wanted to move in, said she is the next MRS she was 50 yrs old and claimed to be pregnant, big joke, made our live havoc, affair lasted 2 mths. don' t allow it girl fight for your man.

Reply to Nozi
Posted by: Mia the Bee | 2008/11/26

Thank you GIGI.
Think I will do just that. Give him some of his own medicine.

Reply to Mia the Bee
Posted by: GIGI | 2008/11/26

Hi Mia,

No it is not acceptable...he needs to spend time with he alone? Why don' t u do some investigating?? See if his alone, maybe u need to turn the tables on him and start making girlfriend time on weekends. See what happens.

Reply to GIGI

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