Posted by: Concerned | 2008/10/27

Husband feels like failure...


I am very worried about my husband.
He suffered from depression about 6 years ago.
We got married last year, and now have a little one of 5 months.

He had his own bussiness for 4 years now, in IT, which used to be pocket money, but it is now supposed to be our main income.
Because of the times of today, the bussiness is really struggling, and he feels like such a failure because he cannot look after us?!?!

I am TERRIFIED that he fill go into a depression again...

What can I do??
How do I treat him??

I have explained to him that I know he tries his best to advertise, etc. But that the timing are just not working out for us?!

Advise PLEASE!!!!


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Our expert says:
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I understand how bad he feels : it's a shame that those idiots responsible for the current economic mess feel no guilt whatever, while the good honest folks who are suffering the effects of this, unfairly blame themselves. Proper CBT-style counselling and possibly medication could help him, though again I understand that he'd be concerned about the costs of this --- but if he has medical aid he shouldn't hesitatge to get the help he needs, and anyway should exp,ore what could be available through his nearest medical school dept of psychiatry or large state hospital. You are right to be concerned, and starting treatment earlier rather than later usually produces better results.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: ? | 2008/10/27

How about this...just for the period of your exams, why not try and get some help from your parents. Not financial help though.
Ask if they could help by looking after the little one, the house, and the cooking, whilst you study and write your exams. People don' t realise how helpful family can sometimes be. Especially parents. Parents love knowing that they are still needed.

Once exams are over, perhaps you can try and find a job where you can work from home. Once you' ve built up enough cash, get a domestic that can help you with house chores &  taking care of baby.

As for the hubby...he has to learn to pull himself together. As hard as things may be. He needs to realise that his family needs him to be strong.

Reply to ?
Posted by: Zee01 | 2008/10/27

Thanks for all your answers!

I am busy with my last 3 modules for my degree, but giving extra maths lessons in the meantime...
Will talk to him that one of us at least get a stable job...

I highly doubt that he will go for therapy, or medication?!

Just don' t know what else to do?!
Trying my best to stay positive and supportive, but very difficult to cope with this, my very demanding little one, my exams that is starting on thursday and keeping the house in some respectable state and cooking?!?!

Can' t talk to either of our parents, cause the will jump in to help financially, but they are already struggling themselves?!?!

Anyway, just needed to get everything off my chest!
So, thanks for reading!!  -)

Reply to Zee01
Posted by: ? | 2008/10/27

Are you working as well? Maybe you can try and find a way to help him out with regards to finances.

Reply to ?
Posted by: Soul | 2008/10/27

Just support him and encourage him let him know that you believe in him and most of all try and stay as positive as possible, just knowing that you stand behind him 100% will help him. Things will get better keep the faith.

Good Luck
Take Care

Reply to Soul

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