Posted by: Poodle | 2004/11/19

Husband drooles over bar lady

Need advice here: Hubby and I went to a pub on Thursday.There was a young bar lady who served us drinks.She's sexy, has curves in the right places, she always wears tight jeans and she's always smiling and she dances while serving drinks. she does these sexy dances.We decided we'll stay for one drink and leave. we finished our drinks and I got off my bar chair but hubby was still stuck on the chair. Asked him if we're leaving and he said " yes" but he was not moving one inch on the chair, with his eyes stuck on this girl. Finally we left and he told me that he does not want to go there anymore bcoz the barlady makes it difficult for him to leave that bar even though booze is expensive in that pub. He told me that she's nicely built and has nice curves. I said what about me and he said not all women have the same interesting things in their bodies - with some it's breasts,lips ,bums etc. he told me that it would then be difficult if that bar lady also found him sexy and liked him. When I asked why would that be a problem he said " You know us man , we cannot control ourselves, if I find her attractive and she finds me attractive then anything can happen.I said " talk for yourself , say you dont have control and dont generalise about all men " Is this generally someting that happens to other men as well ( feeling that you cannot control certain things) . I was angry and I told him about a crush I had on one guy at work and I told him that if I wanted to sleep with him I would have done so but I'm not going to do that bcoz I can cotrol myself , I'm not remote controlled by some external force. I dont know if I want to go back to the same pub with him again bcoz now I know that my hubby is drooling over the bar lady.

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Our expert says:
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What tosh he speaks. Men CAN control themselves, just as women can, if they choose to do so.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Orie | 2004/11/19

that's honesty !

Reply to Orie
Posted by: Mona | 2004/11/19

Geez, thats like saying YES when your wife asks you if she looks fat in her new outfit, 6 months ration food!

Reply to Mona
Posted by: Orie | 2004/11/19

But lets face it guys , the poor guy was just being honest and open. How many other guys feel the same way but never utter a word about it. he was at least man enough to tell his wife the honest truth. Would'nt you have liked to know if it was your husband? The mere fact that he told her means he is committed to openess in the marriage. Lets admit it , men cannot control themselves sometime . What men could really resist a sexy bomb coming onto him . If you are all being honest ( refering to men) none of you would resist that . You'll fell on like a prey and thank heavens that you're getting such a hot lay.Just be honest about it .

Reply to Orie
Posted by: HS | 2004/11/19

I don't actually know what to say that's constructive here.
Your man totally sucks! I would keep a very careful eye out.
Also, he sounds immensely disrespectful to you!
Does he do this often?

I have this urge to tell you to say something like "yeah, some men have what it takes in the right place too, and I can understand completely, because if it was a guy serving drinks who was well-hung, I wouldn't even wait, I'd just dump you like a sad sack of dope right there and then and take my chances for a wild raunching romance with a hottie like him".

But, no, then you're down to his sickening level and you are much better than that. Listen, honey, you actually deserve better treatment than that. You have to tell him how that made you feel and possibly consider getting out, because that's insult of note. Uh Uh, no go.

Good luck, and all women have different gifts, you have your own amazing gifts too. He's just too dumb to see what's in front of him. Asshole!!!

Reply to HS
Posted by: Mum | 2004/11/19

I have a beautiful 19 year old daughter who is studying at varsity. She works in pub to make extra cash. She often comes home and tells me about 'old' men who constantly chat her up. She is disgusted by some of the things they say to her.
Tell your husband that this lovely young barmaid , probalby looks at him as a dirty old man.

Reply to Mum
Posted by: Jemma | 2004/11/19

I can understand that married or taken man might think that a woman, other than his wife or girlfriend is sexy or attractive but what I can't understand is why he felt the urge to tell you.

My husband will sometimes tell me that he say a pretty woman somewhere or if we are together we will show a pretty lady to me but he will never go overboard and tell me exactly what and how he wants her.

I really think it was uncalled for and I can assure you that not all men are like that. How can you ever trust him again if he goes out without you after telling you that men are like that and that anything can happen because that's how men do things.

Perhaps someone will argue that he was honest with you and that you must apreciate that. Well, somethings are better not said at all.

Perhaps he was a bit drunk and wanted to freak you out.

Good luck.

Reply to Jemma
Posted by: Kay | 2004/11/19

He needs a bloody good kick up the pants! Men are not animals with uncontrollable urges - thats a pretty poor excuse... and to tell you this too! Monas right - not a whole lot of respect happening there.

Reply to Kay
Posted by: Mona | 2004/11/19

It doesnt sound like your hubby has any respect for you, geewhizz, perving at the bar lady is one thing, but then rubbing it all in your face is just plain sick! If it was my hubby i would tell him where to get off.

Reply to Mona

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