Posted by: Yolanda | 2005/12/05

Husband criticizes the way I dress

My husband often criticizes the way I dress. He would like me to wear tight clothes,short skirts and crop tops. He also thinks it is a good idea to get botox injections when I start looking old. I would rather grow old gracefully to be honest. When I said to him that I wouldn't like to get a face lift or botox he got quite annoyed and said I am always putting down ways of making myself more beautiful. I am afraid he will start looking for other younger women one day who have wear more revealing clothes. I honestly don't think I dress badly at all but I don't feel confortable in revealing clothes. I also go for a very painful full bikini wax as he likes it better this way. I am willing to do this but why can't he stop going on about the way I dress? What can I say to make him respect me more and appreciate me. I know that I am not unattractive and have a fairly nice figure so why does he always expect me to dress so cheap? At the same time he often brings up the past as I have been with a couple of other people before I met him. I can't change the past but I definitely didn't sleep around as he puts it.

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Our expert says:
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What a pathetically insecure "man" he is ! He should love you for who you are, including whatver wrinkles life and he himself may cause. he doesn't want you to be more beautiful --- but more tarty, so he can show off to other men, who he thinks will envy him if he goes out with the caricature he wants you to make yourself. And how much plastic surgery and botox is he planning for himself ? of course you are atractive, to any normal man, but maybe an adolescent schoolboy still wanting to show off to other schoolboys, and who hasn't learned to be man enough to appreciate a real woman, may feel insecure. Your past before you met him is really none of his business

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Our users say:
Posted by: Hawaii | 2015/08/03

I have the same problem. My husband just said I dress like a grandma. He spends money on cars and all his boy toys and meanwhile I am working to save money. My friends suggested I go and spend my money at VS!

Reply to Hawaii
Posted by: Purple | 2005/12/05

It seems strange that your husband would want you to dress like a tart and to, as you age, become mutton dressed as lamb. Most husbands want a wife who dresses appropriately for her age and wouldn't cause other men to stop and stare as she walks past.

Has your husband got a very low self image - maybe thats why he wants you to dress like a tart - so other men will stare, and he will feel proud that he's with someone like you.

I'm just guessing here.

My husband likes it if I look good, but he never dictates what I should wear or the style I should dress in.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: Jakes | 2005/12/05

It seems as he may be a very vain person and your looks may make him feel good. What if you dress the way he wants and attract the attention of other men

Seriously with what you said about past happenings and his attitude towards it, makes me wonder.

You stick to your guns, I am sure u are lovely and do not let him manipulate you. Your selfrespect and self image will in the end be worth far more to you.

Reply to Jakes
Posted by: ... | 2005/12/05

SR... I don't see it as positive at all.... this man sees his wife as a kind of trophy... he wants others to see this sexy seductive woman at this side... that's the impression I get anyhow...

Yolande.......... I'm wondering how attractive this husband of yours is..... isn't there something that you could you point out of his that isn't exactly perfect??......... not to be spiteful or selfish... but to make him realise that there is more to life than good looks and sexy clothing........ I agree with Frusty's question... of exactly why did this man marry you?... have you changed your dress style lately, or has he just decided that you are there to make him look good?....

Don't dress in anyway that you don't feel comfortable with..... don't do anything to your body that you don't want to do.. married or not........ that body is YOURS!!!

Reply to ...
Posted by: SR | 2005/12/05

Sounds like a bit of insecurity there on his behalf.

I can only but take off my hat about him wanting you to dress a little more sexier. Most men normally do the ego thing and want their wives to dress down and look dowdy. So at least this is positive on his behalf?

Reply to SR
Posted by: Frusty | 2005/12/05

You sound like an intelligent woman! What I don't understand is why you are putting up with a man who sounds like he is very shallow. Did he marry you for your looks? The way you dress? Or because he loves you? Don't worry, I know where you are coming from, I also have a husband that critisizes me in everything I say and do, but the difference is, I don't care anymore. I do and say what I please, and if he doesn't like it, TOUGH! It is a case of either change your attitude or change your husband. I cannot at the point in time do the last, so I have done the first. Consider it.

Reply to Frusty

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