Posted by: Blom | 2008/11/06

Husband Control Freak

My husband is not a drunk, does not go out and sleep out or goes out with friends, however he is a control freak,EVERYTHING must revolve around him. I' ve worked all my life, I have 2 sons between 20yrs &  23yrs, my husband even wants to control their lives, they want to move out, but stay because of me. I' m so dead inside, I cant stand him near me. Thank God I work, I don' t depend on him financially I pay for the roof over my head. ' ve been married to this control freak for 24ys and I' m only with him cause I made a vow to the man above ' for better, for worse, till death do us part"  I just cant anymore, everything costs money. I must go to a personal counsellor, he is the one that needs to go! but he will never because he says he is not the problem, how does one explain. I' d honestly be better off dead. I need to speak to someone, I want him to get a letter of some sort, to say enough is enough. Please help with contacts

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

SOunds like you're happy with the ways in which he controls himself ( jotdrinking etc ) bnut not happy when he tries to control you and especially your sons Could you persuade him to join you in marriage counselling ( hinting that it could help hiom control the relationship better ) ? Remind him that its not because he IS the problem, but because apparently he HAS a problem with oyour concerns, and vice versa. Otherwise, start with a personal counsellor, to examine your options in more detail.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Blom | 2008/11/06

Hi Sg

I still respect the fact that he is the man of the house, and a man must have some control. I' ve lived with it for too long. He even takes over when it comes to re-arranging the furniture in the house and it' s his way or no-way. I feel like burning my house down because it' s only livable to his liking. I' m so hurt, I can' t explain. I would love to go to a marriage counsellor, but he will never go, because his negativity and mentality thinks he is not the problem.

Reply to Blom
Posted by: Sg | 2008/11/06

I know where you are coming from,my ex wife was the same.She even used to tell me what tv I was allowed to watch.We went to 6 different marriage counsellors but she did not like any of them.
When she started becoming violent when she did not get her own way,I knew it was time to call it quits.
It led me to panic attacks and the likes,it was a very tough time in my life.

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