Posted by: Worried Wife | 2011/11/06

Husband and horrible co-workers

Both my husband and I am social people. He has guys nights and I have girl nights and we have things together too so normally I really don''t mind if he goes out drinking with friends. I know the friends well and know they''re all responsible.

The change came with my husband''s new job (it''s been a year since he started there). At first I went with to the events but although I''m a very tolerant person I can not stand my husband''s co-workers. They''re all cheaters (numerous of them have had their girlfriends at some of the events I went to) and they have very little respect for woman and always become super drunk and inappropriate. I''ve gotten to the point where I refuse to go to anything with his co-workers.

Against my normal nature I have a huge issue with my husband hanging out with them. I feel strongly that he has good friends with whom he can spend time with and don''t need to waste time with these assh0les. It has become a huge conflict between my husband and I. He says he has to be social with workers to stay in good graces and be liked at work which translates in promotions etc and now at the end of the year there''s almost a weekly compulsory thing with some or other clients (during work hours but lasts way past that many times). He always comes home drunk or tipsy from them and as I said in my first paragraph normally I don''t mind my husband having fun but I really do have a very bad feeling when he''s out with these people drinking. He is different with them and much less safe (drives under influence etc)

I don''t know what to do anymore or what the solution is. I don''t want to be a police wife (inspect everything he does) and I get that these things are important in a work setting but I really dislike his co-workers and what influence they might/do have on him. What do I do? It''s causing some heavy fighting between my husband and I which is very abnormal for us. Any advice and suggestions welcome.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Excellent response from Reality Check. OK, his co-workers sound like creeps. But that's not rare, and such petty socializing is all too often expected at work these days, and he may risk losing his job if he neglects these tedious outings. Why add to his stress and fight about this ? Maybe its really that you worry that they might influence him into cheating as they do ? Dont you know each other well enough by now to feel able to trust him ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Reality Check | 2011/11/07

In ths economic climate any thing u have to do for job security is advisable if it is not illegal or immoral. If u want to be a supportive wife stop moaning and let him go on his own. You should avoid going yourself by saying you have a prior engagement but will pick him up to allow him to drink without driving. This will show his co workers you are a team player. Stop bitching this socialising is unfortunately a part of corporate politics!

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