Posted by: snotty | 2009/03/06

husband always working

Ugh - my husband works all the time. It has become worse over the past 2 months. We dont have quality time together and he doesnt make much of an effort. My job involves travelling (but only sometimes) and he gets annoyed when I have to go away (only because it inconveniences him w.r.t cooking etc). What do I do? I truly am tired of this arrangement. He says he doesnt enjoy working long hours but he doesnt even try with our relationship. I have had enough

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Our expert says:
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lets see what other readers have to say, here. Maybe you should give him some cooking lessons, for a sart. Sometimes people work long hours because they fear conflict and arguments at home, and would rather bury themselves in office work. Does his boss really insist on him working long hours on a long-term basis, or is this extra work mainly self-imposed ? Why not jointly invest in some mariroge counselling sessions to work towards a happier state of afairs for both of you ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Leigh | 2009/03/09

Try to get to a marriage counsellor. Someone who needs to work all the time is trying to get away from something. Possibly he finds communication difficult. I am sure there is nothing wrong with you but the more you try to find out what is wrong the longer hours he will work. A third person can help to bring problems out into the open. From my own experience this problem will not go away and he will just find it easier to avoid the issue.

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Posted by: Sally | 2009/03/08

Dit klink vir my julle leef verby mekaar. Maak tyd of bespreek ' n naweek weg vir julle twee en gaan praat die saak uit. Probeer dalk ' n huweliksraadgewer sien - ' n huwelik is kosbaar - ook vir die kinders - dis ALTYD die moeite werd om te probeer dit maakwerk. As julle dieselfde tyd vir mekaar insit as wat julle voor julle huwelik aan mekaar spandeer het, moet dit werk. Kom agter die kruks van die probleem. Sterkte en mag dit vir julle uitwerk.

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Posted by: Lucky | 2009/03/07

I think you are both fortunate to have jobs to complain about ! When 2 are working you have to take your share. On the overtime and work work work, I am not so sure. I know a couple where she had to " work"  all sorts of odd hours, weekends, travel etc and no one else could do what she was supposed to do, or so she said.All it was , was a huge excuse to get away from her husband who was left to do everything at home, look after the baby etc. Meanwhile a lot of the time was not working, but jolling, seeing guys at " work"  etc etc. It was just an excuse for her to avoid doing her share of the household chores and not to spend muchy time with hubby. As is always the case in these instances, poor old hubby didn' t suspect a thing ansd this carried on for years, until she was not prepared to have to keep going home to spend time with hubby as she was having too much fun on the jol . She took off eventually. Not to say you are in the same boat, but often the work excuse is used to avoid what' s waiting at home. Sort it out before its too late.

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