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Question
Posted by: Philna | 2007/05/29

Husband admitted to an affair (2)

I decided that we go out yesterday and talk about it . I could not work, I could not do anything , this was the only thing on my mind the entire day. I asked him the details , ie. when it started, your secret hiding space, anybody else at work who knows about it , how he felt when he got back home from her,what made him do it . What hurt me was that he had this affair when I was 7 months pregnannt with a child we've tried to have for more than 2 years. I've never been this hurt in my entire life. I feel so humiliated, I felt so ashamed of my marriage such that I decided never to breathe a word to anyone about this.(especially family and friends) They would be so dissapointed because they all think highly of him. I told him I will never put my foot at his workplace, I'm so ashamed of the people who knew about this . I feel so paranoid when I walk with him in public and I see some ladies looking at us, or laughing I immediately think , "what if that's her friends or what if that's her" and when they laugh, I feel they are laughing at me "stupid little wifey " If any person ever chose to have an affair I wish they could sit down and realise they hurt they will be causing their partners. Its very very painful , the pain goes right down into my psyche

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Our expert says:
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Of course, this must have been enormously hurtful and discouraging. But it is HIM who should be feeling ashamed, not you. And only an idiot would be laughing at you about something so awful which was done TO YOU, and not your fault. THink of counselling to ease your hurt and to make the best decisions for yourself

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