Posted by: Cally | 2009/02/16

hurting myself to get rid of him?

Short and sweet... I have been unhappy with my guy for a long time, due to various reasons (he' s cheated on me, he' s been unemployed for ages and isn' t bothered about getting a job, he' s possessive and accusing, he' s controlling and dominating... etc etc). I' ve also been trying to leave him for a long time, but he keeps chasing after me again and again, promising and wooing me back.
The two things that would make him leave me alone if I break it off, would be if I slept with my ex-boyfriend (who is still a good friend of mine, and who would be happy to oblige me), or if I started dancing in a strip club.
I' m worried that if I did these things, with the intention of using them as ammo to destroy a relationship, that I couldn' t live with myself...
I also just haven' t been able to break it off properly with conventional means, as they guy just chases and harasses me until I give in...
Should I risk hurting myself to end an unhappy relationship?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He sounds like exactly the sort of guy it is not worth having any relationship with. LEave, change phone-numbers, ignore any pleas or arguments from him, and if necessary go to the court and get a restraining order to prevent him from contacting and bothering you again. How ridiculous to think of joining a strip club or sleeping with an ex, just to discourage this layabout. Don't risk hurting yourself --- get a court order, and leave him behind in the dust.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cally | 2009/02/17

The root of the problem is that, although I have tried many times to break it off, he' s so persistent and harasses me so much (he even threatens to hurt anyone I meet), that I go back... maybe a restraining order is the way to go. I was just considering that if I did something to drive him away, to make him break it off, then it would be easier and faster...

Reply to cally
Posted by: Get going | 2009/02/17

What' s with you girls ? I just don' t get it !! What the hell are you bothering yourself with this slug of a being. Take CS' s advice, thats what I would have said. Good luck

Reply to Get going
Posted by: nike | 2009/02/16

It sounds to me like you are making excuses for this guy. Maybe you are too used to being with him that you are scared of how your life would be without him. I am not judgung you, in fact I feel for you, because you still have a long way before you rid yourself off this guy.

Good luck.

Reply to nike

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