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Question
Posted by: hubby | 2007/08/06

hurting hubby

why do my wife hurt me so much. these are small things but they hurt me big time. we are always visitin her mum but she will never say, lets visit my hubby's mum.

we talked about this and she just shouted and we did not come to a solution. she buys things for her mum and send her money all the time and she never send my mom anything.

last month there was a wedding that i attended at home and she did not want to go with me (as always) and when i came back, she did not ask me how is my mom and how was the wedding.

is there a future for us? we are married for 7 years and theres no improvements. we dont have a cchild together, she came with one child and i also came with 2children. mine are staying with their mum. and we live with her child.

i give her money everymonth for the household. she is also working but does not waant to spend her money on me, when i need it for a crisis, like to repair the car.

but then she ask me to drop her off at the mall with friends and i drive her all the time. when we visit her mum, she buys groceries and things for her family/relatives, but why is she not doing this for my mum.

we talked about this and i involved the elders as well but its not improving. what can i do?

she always checks my cellfone and complains when i go out with the boys.

what else can i do?

i wanted to complain to her mum, but she sometimes insults her mum in front of me and when i intervene, she says i must shut up and not get involved.

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Our expert says:
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If nothing has improved for 7 years, it's not likely to improve spontaneously. If you could persuade her to join you in mariage counselling, perhaps with help ( eg through FAMSA ) things could improve, but only if she, as well as you, would sincerely work with the counsellor to improve the situation. Maybe stop paying her money for the household, and suggest instead that you will draw up together a schedule of the full household and family costs, and divide in in proportion to what each of you earn. It's nonsense for you to pay most of the expenses, while she spends her money only on herself and her own family.
I wonder what the elders thought if her bad behaviour

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2007/08/07

I use to sit on my husbands head (ashames to admit it) but he was too soft - and know about a year ago - he started showing me who the man in the house is, and now I have a lot more respect for him, and he wears the pants, we still make decisions together but I respect him as the man of the house.

Start acting like the head of the house and she might change her attitude - if she doesnt then get out before you have children of your own to worry about

Reply to Anon
Posted by: nols | 2007/08/06

i think for once you should stand up and show her who has the balls in the house!

Reply to nols

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