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Question
Posted by: Megan | 2004/11/09

Hurtful!

Ive just come out of a 2 yr relationship with my boyfriend, I ended it because i was tired of looking after him like a king and getting nothing in return, not only that, he seemed to love going to his family weekends happily leaving me on my own, for two months instead of paying rent, he spent it on his family. He was the jealous type, not too sure if he loved me, being a leo he loved himself too much i think. Anyway after nearly two weeks of us splitting he has not once contacted me to say sorry, and i cant seem to get over it, not that i want him back, but how can he avoid this altogether? does he have no feelings? yest. i phoned him to find out if he was ok, he said he was busy he would call back, he never did.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Ok, Megan, so you are very well rid of him. If he was the sort who would now feel sory about what he did ( his selfishness, etc) he would have sorted out the problem long ago, and you wouldn't have left him. Don't expect miracles. Stop looking to him for afirmation or permission to free yourself from him and get on with the glorious rest of your life.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Megan | 2004/11/10

To all those wonderful people out there who responded to my letter, I thank you ever so much...i never knew there were so many people that cared...i am deeply touched! Thankyou.

Reply to Megan
Posted by: Momo | 2004/11/09

Megan I can relate you heartache I was in a six years relationship with a guy whom I thought he was a love of my life. The guy loved his family so much well at first I did not have a problem but now it was getting to me. I could only see him on weekends, but on weekends he has to drive around his mom to the mall to her friends and pick her up: not forgeting his sister he also has to play the driver for her sister and her 3 kids to where ever they want to go, that leaving us with a little time to spend together.

Me wanted to be part of the family I make sure when my guy drive his family around the car has petrol, when he is stressed because his sister doesnot have money to pay school fees for the kids or she doesnot have money to pay her townhouse I'll give him money to sort her sister out. His mother I made sure she doesnot complain a bout him not taking care of her.

I dumped him because I felt used emotionally and financially. He never call me or try to contact me something like 8 months, in that 8 months no SMS, no e-mail, no bumping into each other at the malls. I was stressed, but I didnot want to be the first one to make the move. During that time it was hell but how I survive is was the support of my friends, when I am with my friends we try and talk something different from my heartache and when I am alone I allowed myself to think about him.For instant if I want him to call or thinking it's him calling I will answer the call after hanging up I say loudly want I will have told him if it was him calling or wanted to tell him if I made the call. It really help and also it help me to heal. Now I am not angry at him and I am happy with my life.

Now that it still early day take each day as it comes and tell yourself that it was for the better, go to gym to shape up and look at those big mirrors and tell yourself that you are beautiful, than you will be fine. I know.

**Megan**

Reply to Momo
Posted by: jacques | 2004/11/09

Megan,
He doesn't sound worth your time.I think the best thing for you to do is try to move on.I know it's hard coming from a 2 year relationship myself.You need to realise whats best for you.Dump the pig and get someone who will take your concerns to heart.Good luck and keep well and strong

Reply to jacques
Posted by: Loli | 2004/11/09

I think by keeping quite counts for something, move on with your life and stop worring about people who are to full of themselves

Be strong and good luck girl alll will be well

Reply to Loli
Posted by: Zee | 2004/11/09

Megan, Ur boyfriend is bitter after the breakup, obviously he wont tell u that , that is why he is avoiding you.

Something I dont understand, why do you want him to call coz u are the one who called it "quits". U cant honestly expect him to nurse this "split" by calling you. He is just trying to 4get about the whole thing and moving on.

If u break up with someone, MOVE ON, Dont look back unless if U REALLY didnt mean to breakup with him. Its never nice to break up with someone u loved, U just have to be strong and MOVE ON, Dont look back, and try complicate ur life again.

My advice is Stay away from him as much as u can, that will give u both an opportunity to MOVE ON.

Reply to Zee
Posted by: Kay | 2004/11/09

It doesnt seem like he cares does it. You can tell alot about a person by their actions and his are disrespectful and hurtful - and he probably knows it but couldnt care less. Be thankful that you have seen him for who he is and move on with your life. When you are ready I'm sure you will find the man to have a mature and two sided relationship with and you will look back on this and thank God for showing you what a real man can be like.

Take care.

Reply to Kay
Posted by: Kernel | 2004/11/09

Best to leave this selfish guy to himself. You never got much out of the relationship - he acted more like a parasite than anything else - that is why he shows no signs of remorse or regret. He got out of you what he wanted.

Be glad that you are rid of him for good. Find someone more deserving than this self-centered parasite.

Reply to Kernel

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