Our expert says:
OK, he behaved like a heel. But if he was overseas for so long, presumably you didn't see much of him during that time - how do you know when he changed ? And why, now, do you care so gratly about a guy who fairly obviously does not care for you and treats you badly ? I'm sorry to hear that counselling made you feel worse - unfortunately it sounds as though the counselor wasn't skilled enouh to deal with this relatively frequent type of problem. He can only hurtm you if you choose to care about him and what he does. You don't HAVe to choose to care about him. Clearly you expected much during the time you waited for his return, and he cared much less than you assumed.
Kelly's comments make a lot of sense. His cold and heartless approach may be mainly due to HIM and whatever is going on within him, and is probably much less about you than it feels as though it is.
And as you yourself wisely say, it may be sad that he is behaving like this, but far better he showed his true self now than after you had married him.
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