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Question
Posted by: Bubbles | 2008/01/02

hurt, confused, sad, resentment etc

Hi Doc...<br><br>hope you had a fabulous festive season...<br><br>To be honest on my side, I had the worst, I kept on fighting with my parter, and we seem to fight over the smallest things.., he is full of resentment for me i can tell...<br><br>I live with my parter at his father and mothers house, that is because we used to live in a flat and the father became ill, and we needed to move to his house to take care of the dad, and its difficult for me because I am not married with him, the parents are divorced and its been tough...<br><br>He is 25 and I am 29, yeah! I know big difference...<br><br>Anyway, I have a 5yr old daughter from the previous relationship, that too has been hell because my daughter lived with the dad in the past year, so I kept on visiting her at his house, at times I would fetch her with my partner..., I have been trying to make him feel comfortable about the situation, and there were times where he felt threatened about my daughter being first and him second and all sorts of things, so its been an a continuous for a while.<br><br>I have in this realationship for 1yr 6mths, and he has underpressure about not having a child of his own, and we have been trying to have a child for sometime now, we are currently on fertiboost and we tried the ovulation tablets as well, and nothing, the only thing that has not been tried yet is him going for a sperm count, and I am not pressurising him and yet I feel, in this relationship I have compromised everything, my friends, my sense of humour, myself, my everything, the problem is I love this man, or do I?<br><br>To be honest, i do not know, he is also complaining about me tell him what hurts me and how sad he makes and that I am always complaining about everything, I may have a problem...help me...<br><br>I am always compromising to make him happy, it's tiring....

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Our expert says:
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Well, mine, too, was very far from fabulous, but that's not the issue here ! I'm surprised that any competent doctor would treat the female partner for infertility ( though I presume there were some tests done and some indication that the treatment would actually help you ? ) without asking for her partner to have a sperm test done.
It doesn't sound wise to try to hard to become pregnant with a man who may say he wants a child, but who isnt apparently acting in a mature way like someone ready to be a dad or a husband. If there is room for him to acknowledge any problems on his side, it might be worth considering marriage / relationship counselling, otherwise consider moving out and on, if he isn't prepared to invest on his side

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