Posted by: wife | 2007/06/14

hurt & confused

in a few days my husbands nephew will b getting married. I dont want to go as i do not want 2 be with his sisters. we married 4 17 years - they always speak ill of me and my kids - 1 sister resorted to assaulting me and my kids in the presence of my hubby - he stood and watched while she hit me - only stepped in when she started to hit the kids - i feel my husband has never stood up for me why should i SOCIALISE WITH HIS FAMILY...please help me make a decision!!!! He was a vey abusive man and i had to get a court order to prevent him from assaulting me 12 yrs ago. i do a lot to prevent fights between us and know eventually when my kids are older i will leave him to pursue a life on my own. al i want now is to give them both a mum and dad. My daughter is in matric this year and i want 2 do everything to give her peace and sanity to do her best in her final exams. Next year i want to start my life away with my kids. Right now i dont have a place to go and live and am tied in debt.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

They sound like exceddingly unpleasant sisters who nobody would like to be near. But if your husband is abusive, I don't suppose he'd be supportive or helpful here. See a counsellor to work out what's best for you and the children --- staying around so that they are exposed to an inconsiderate and sometimes abuisive man, is not necessarily a benefit for them. Good luck next year. Maybe a free law clinic at your nearest law school could help advise you on the likely outcome of a divorce, and what support you might be able to get

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: ag! | 2007/06/15

I know how u feel cos I also am in a horrible realtionship. But u must remember that the one thing that ties u to him is just the kids. How would u feel when years down the line u discover that u daughter is enduring an abusive relationship just cos of her kids & the fact that she saw u go thro the same thing. Not exactly a healthy frame of min to create for u'r kids! But leaving is never easy. U think it will change that one dy this man u love so much & stand by always will realize that what he is doing is wrong. U put u'r all into the relationship in an attempt to get a bit of love back but u know what IT WILL NEVER CHANGE. At least u will have peace for 1 week out of a month but is it really worth it. Good luck with next year hopefully u get there safe & sound & ready to start afresh

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Posted by: I understand | 2007/06/14

Dont go to the wedding, dont feel u have to cos its the 'right thing to do'. Show them that they are not worth your time, cos they arent. I have cold uncaring and disruptive inlaws, that includes the sister-in law and if they do not add value to my life, I dont have precious time to waste, just because...I wish you lots of luck in the new life you vision for yourself and your kids...no1 deserves to be treated that way, by her or your husband

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