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Question
Posted by: HEART BROKEN | 2008/01/23

HURT

HEY,
MY BYFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN SEEING EACH OTHER FOR THE PAST 2YRS AND 3 MONTHS.
THE 1ST YR AND A HALF WE WERE A COUPLE BUT FOR THE PAST 8 MONTHS , WE HAVE BEEN ON AND OFF. WE REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER. THE THING IS HAVE BEEN INTIMATE BUT NOT ENTIRELY, HE USUALLY GOES DOWN ON ME.
BUT LAST NITE HE SED THAT I MUST GO DOWN ON HIM TO PROVE THAT I AM COMMITTED TO THE RELATIONSHIP.
NOW WE HAVE BEEN HAVING ALOT OF PROBLEMS AND I AM NOT READY FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS, THAT IS Y WE HAVE NOT MADE LOVE AS YET, AND IT HURTS ALOT.

IS HE USING ME OR NOT? I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS GOING ON IN MY HEAD. MAYBE I AM NOT BEING FAIR TO HIM.
WAT IF HE LEAVES ME AFTER I OPEN UP TO HIM?
ANY ADVISE WELCOME.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Nobody should EVER feel they have to peform ANY soert of sexual act "to prove (they) are committed to the elationship" --- that's nonsense and manipulative. There's no way in which you are not being fair to him in not giving in to these demands, and yes, to some extwent he is using you, or trying to do so.
But why do you allow him to push you like this ? And where is this relationship going ? Wouldn't some sessions of relationship counselling be a good idea ?

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