Posted by: confused | 2009/08/03

hulp dringend!i m losing it!

5 years ago my son was born with heart problems. Ever since the i left my career as a proffesional and the only thing i' m doing is looking after my child. WE live in hospitals and at doctors offices. I do nothing else for myself and my reltionship with my husband at this stage is non-existing. He is a professional as well and live the high life and makes the money. We do not even speak anymore and have nothing in common,but our sick child.He now accuses me of not being part of anything!How can i be if there is no time even for me or a career. I must beg for money i need something,because,according to him,he earns it. i have even try to start doing some work from home,but even that did not work out. I want to die,because my life is non -existing. i am at home with my child all day,have no friends and speak to nobody. My husband stays out late,so i cannot even leave my child with him to at least attent some gym.I' m alone and isolated and cannot go on like this. If i dare to cry or try to complain my husband will yell and at me and will ask me to keep quiet,because i m complaining about nothing. Divorce isn" t an option for me,since i have nowhere to go and my child needs care.HE also made it clear that i will not see my child again if i' m leaving. He will just convince a court that i' m an unfit parent and that i ' m depressed all the time. PLEASE HELP ME! I' m going crazy!I do not want to live like this. I' m a well educated person.but the way i' m feeling now,is making me crazy.I always try to keep strong for the sake of my child and there is so many times that i just want to start crying while i' m at the doctor,but i m to proud to do that. Is there maybe some medicine which i can take to get me through the day.

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Our expert says:
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This has to be a frustrating and distressing. Surely marriage counselling should be in order --- surely your husband can and should play a part in caring for your child, and in enabling you both to have some time for yourself, but some time for both of you to spend together. ow absurd to make you feel bad because he is the sole money-earner , when the reason for this is so obvious --- and does't he think of how much more it would cost him if you went back to work, and he had to hire someone to care for your child all the time ?
Can you discuss this with his family, as well as yours ?
Explore alternatives, and don't believe his claim that if you separate or divorce that you wouldn't see your child again. (a) he would be very highly unlikely to get custody if the facts were presented to the court of how thoroughly you care for the child and how he neglects both of you, and (b) even in the bizarre event that he did get custody, no court would deny you generous access. And of course, he would, if he did get custody, soon discover how much it would cost him to try to replace you with someone to help the child.
Do discuss this with the doctor, and comsider arranging to see a counsellor, at least. If you are Depressed, antidepressant medication might also help, but I suspect that the counselling would be the most important thing

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