Our expert says:
How am I doing WHAT ?
Don't feel guilty --- that's bad for you, and absolutely no help to him or anyone else. He needs to have shown much more initiative for years, and now may have to. If I understand you, you will move to a saler and more afordable home with your mom and pets, and he now MUST find himself somewhere else. An ex ought to be sufficiently Ex.
Maybe he sees himself as a builder, but meanwhile should get ANY job --- even packing groceries in a supermarket, so as to earn money and self-respect. Too often people decide they are "a builder", a dancer, whatever, and ignore all other more suitable and profitable opportunities, insisting on persistently losing in something that just isnt working. If he is not successful at one thing, he could be successful at others, but apparently doesn;'t try them.
If at first you don't succeed, try again. If you still don't succeed --- try something else.
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