Posted by: Claire | 2008/07/18

Hubby& #39 s laptop

A couple of weeks ago I was working on hubby' s laptop and and I came across some emails a female colleague and hubby have been sending each other. I wrote it off as playfull flirting even though it was a little unsettling for me. Things weren' t going so well between hubby and me. I haven' t spoken to him about it. On a few occasions when I was at their work functions I saw her staring and smiling at hubby and him smiling back, but he tried not to make it obvious. I didn' t say a word. Things are going very well now and we haven' t fought in a long time, but lately this has bothering me. He doesn' t really give me any reason to doubt him, but what if this playful flirting becomes serious? And the smiles? I dont know if I should work on his laptop again. What if I find something on there? Please give me some advice!

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Our expert says:
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Why not consider marriage counselling, to srt out these issues ? Your unease, even if indeed nothin g has happened between them, suggests that all is not entirely well between you.

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Our users say:
Posted by: juli | 2008/07/18

claire, where there is smoke there IS fire and an uncontrolable one at that. MaB i know that you have confronted your man about what you found and of course he denies it - who likes to be caught with their pants down. men love the attention other women give them they love the spice and nice things and flirty things that get said between " friends"  no man or women should speak to another person in a desirable way unless it is their own partner. men like having their cake and eating it and in my experience and there has been dones of experience, again i will say if there is smoke there is fire plane and simple.

Reply to juli
Posted by: Anon | 2008/07/18

Well then, Claire, sorry but he sounds like an a-hole to me. Wont see a counselor, how much does he care about his relationship??

Reply to Anon
Posted by: MaB | 2008/07/18

Fork iam not sure if it is a good thing to go to his cellphone,because i did that and i found what i suspected and now iam really hurt. For some reason i feel like my hubby is lying to me when he saysthey are just friends,because in the messages he greets those ladies the same way he greets me e.g Morning Beautiful,some are thanking him for what they had last nite and yet he says there is nothing going on between them.
I' d say to Claire comfront him in a more civilised and mature way and ask him if he is cheatting on you,and if he says no ask him whether there is something happening in his personal life if he still refuses tell him that you trust that he will bw honest with you and tell you once something unusual that can threaten your marriage happenes as a responsible partner

Reply to MaB
Posted by: /// | 2008/07/18

Give him the taste of his Medison. get your own friend

Reply to ///
Posted by: Gracie | 2008/07/18

I hope for your sake that he is not cheating, but his behaviour tells a different story. Why should a married man flirt in any event? How often is it just flirting and nothing else?? How long does is stay at flirting? I would be really cheesed off if I were you. If he does not want to give you the answers that you need, confront the woman he has been e-mailing and flirting with! You said he won' t go for counselling - there is nothing you can do to force him to go, so I hope you will get to the bottom of this without too many problems. Good luck.

Reply to Gracie
Posted by: FORK! | 2008/07/18

Check the laptop, check his cell phone, check his wallet check his credit card slips.

If you confront him with no proof you give him time to get rid of the proof.

Go on this site to where you can test if you are being cheated. IF things were not going good between you that still does not give him a reason to mess around.

Good luck

Reply to FORK!
Posted by: SR | 2008/07/18

Confront him, dont wait to read it in an email

Reply to SR
Posted by: Claire | 2008/07/18

My husband will never see a cousellor. Unfortunately,

Reply to Claire

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