Posted by: ANON4THIS | 2012/12/10

Hubby gets cross when I refuse.

My hubby and I went out for five years before we got married and we''ve been married for eight years with two girls age two and six. We are on forties.

When we were dating he wanted us to have sex everyday, I manage to stop him from that habit and we agreed to have it two or three days a week, as I''m working and I really get tiered and we don''t have a maid, I have to bath the kids and make supper.

My worry is, if I refuse to have it he doesn''t greed me the following morning, he wouldn''t talk to me for about a week, is this normal? This behavior is scaring me.

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Our expert says:
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Its sad if he actually sulks the morning after not having sex. He is being childish and petty indeed.
Tell him that frankly, with all the necessary chores each night, you feel too tired to enjoy sex as often as he'd like - but maybe, if he'd help you finish the chores earlier, you'd be in the mood more often, especially as you find it exciting to see a man being strong enough to be helpful round the home.
Mandy's extreme bitterness and warped view on humankind is, fortunately, totally inaccurate. Except for some homosexual affairs, all men who cheat, do so with a very willing woman why blame only the man ?
Maybe seeing a marriage counsellor together would be helpful, as this sort of clash is usually about more than sex. He's not a sex addict at all - very often, in any marriage or relationship, one partner would prefer more, or less, sex in a week than the other. But they negotiate and try to please each other.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Chris758 | 2012/12/11

Give this Married Woman a Bell''s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply to Chris758
Posted by: married women | 2012/12/11

Hi ANON4THIS do not deny ur husband sex because that is the main reason he married u.His sisters/his mother was able to cook and wash for him ,but could not have sex with him.I had the same problem in my marriage and believe me my husband used to be very angry with me and we would fight about everything even the smallest thing ,until i decided i will never say NO to him even when i am tired .Please get ur husband to help u with house hold chores or get a maid who will clean and do the laundry on weekends.U r pushing him away,most married women have got the same problem,but my advise to u ,don''t count the number of days u have sex with ur husband ,i dont even know how many times in a week we do it bcoz i dont is my responsibility to make sure my husband is satiesfied sexually and otherwise.My husband is very happy and we no longer fight because he gets it whenever he wants it.

Reply to married women
Posted by: Frustrated Name | 2012/12/10

Hi ANON4THIS, I think more than anything he feels rejected, undesirable and this creates a big scar in him. I dont know if this is right or wrong. He might be feeling he always out to meet the family''s needs and his are not being met, that lead to bitterness. My advise is sit down with him and communicate with him, understand why? I think it is also unfair to arrange how many times a week should one be horny or want sex, I think as a married couple you ought to enjoy it without barriers. He might also feel neglected now that your focus is on kids and other chores. Let me tell you, what he is going through is painful I know.

Reply to Frustrated Name
Posted by: Me Again | 2012/12/10

Honey, be gratefull your husband desires you...and giving him what he needs only from you, only takes a few minutes, and according to experts, actually are good for you (not to mention your husband and marriage!!)

Reply to Me Again
Posted by: Phil | 2012/12/10

Agree with you Maria.

Mandy  let me try and put this in a way that even you can understand. Cheating men, or woman....has to actually do it with someone... You think they are all single?

PS: Go check the divorce courts. You might be surprised  you might even find woman cheat more then men.... But I''m not going to go there  I will just say both men and woman cheat  but not everyone is bad....

Reply to Phil
Posted by: ANON4THIS | 2012/12/10

The agreement its still on 2/3 times a week. i will really appreciate if people could share on what happen with their partners when they don''t agree about sex matters.

Expect please i need your comments, this behavior happen on Saturday night and on Sunday he was busy in the garden the whole day, trying to avoid me. Is he turning into sex addict, is an age issue? how to deal with situation like this?

Reply to ANON4THIS
Posted by: Mandy | 2012/12/10

Maria, I have never been badly hurt but have seen and heard what sexless marriages cause and also seen and heard what cheating does to a person so dont jump to conclusions like that. Men just cannot keep their zips up....finish and klaar.

The only men who dont cheat are the one''s that dont admit it.

Reply to Mandy
Posted by: Maria | 2012/12/10

Many it sounds as if you have been very badly hurt at some point in your life, and you''re still struggling to process that hurt. It''s NOT TRUE that all husbands cheat, that is a gross generalisation. I know many men who haven''t, and won''t cheat because it is against their personal moral code. Women too for that matter.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Mandy | 2012/12/10

You say that when you were dating you AGREED to have sex 2/3 times a week - so now you''re married, what happened to this agreement?

Wish married women would realise that sexless marriage = cheating......the problem here of course is that even if you behave like bunnies in bed, husbands WILL cheat! Given the right time, place and circumstance - of course they''ll cheat!

Whether a wife does or doesnt she''s screwed!

Reply to Mandy
Posted by: Maria | 2012/12/10

Tell him if he does his bit with kids and household duties you will be a whole lot less tired. A man who is cooking or doing dishes can be really sexy!  )

Having said that, he is being rude and petty by ignoring you.

Reply to Maria

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