Posted by: worried wife | 2008/11/18

hubby blooz

i' ve been married for a wile now and we have a bautifull girl, my hubby and i want a second child but sometimes i have doupts i dont know if i really want 1 or not.
i am worried about us our future, dont get me wrong he is a wonderfull man he takes good care of us and we have no problems, but b4 we got married i found out that he was dating the 2 of us, and i fell pregnant then he married me, the other girl was very wealthy so he didn' t brake up with her, every cent he got from her he gave to me he would buy me everything i wanted and treated me like a queen of which he still does, so they kept on seing each other untill she fell pregnant and thats when i found out about her.
i was destroyed i couldn' t understand when and how he found the time to see her, he was always with me and has never slept out.
so then he told me that the kid is not his and he wouldn' t be that stupid, but the girl kept on calling me telling me that i should talk to him cause now he is not taking her calls, so i felt that she was lied to like i was so i kept on giving her the support untill she realised that nothing she did would would make my hubby change his mind.
and then my hubby made me loose her number and changed mine, so we lost contact, it was difficult at first but we went 4 councelling and thing went back 2 normall but at times i still think he is cheating on me, when ever i find girls phone numbers from his phone i through a tentrum, then he would convince me that nothing is going on to the extend that we would call that person or go to them..
i think i should trust him but its a little difficult.
what scares me the most is what if this kid comes back a few yrs latter wanting her dad would i be able to accept her and what do i tell my doughter and how will i deal with my husband what if he still stick to it that he is not the father? or should i find this lady and give her the support behind my hubby' s back, or just let it go and see what the future will bring?
this is really eating me cause my daughter is happy with her dad and the other one doesn' t even know who her father is.

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Our expert says:
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Sounds like some more marriage counselling is called for. If the kid turns uip years later, its not sure that she is his daughter, and blood tests would need to be done. Until this is sure, there's no point in trying to secretly support this woman. Discuss this with your marriage counsellor, in detail.

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