Posted by: Kirsten | 2008/12/18

Hubby accusing me of being unfaithful

Hi there, I have a problem which I' m sure lots of couples deal with but I can' t take it anymore. When I was 15 I was in love with someone a lot older than me which my parents didn' t approve of. I started seeing him in secret and was raped in the process. I tried to tell my parents which only blamed me and told me that I had sex with him out of my own. I was molested by family members since I was 6. I met my hubby when I was 16. Even though I really liked him, my heart was still very sore for the guy who I thought I still loved even though he forced himself on me. Things were going well with me and hubby (that time only my close friend ) until I went to a party with my brother and " the guy"  was there. He was all perfect and loving and treated me like HIS girl the whole night even though I told him I had a friend who I liked. I guess he knew I still liked him. During the night he tried to force himself on me again and I left. One of my the guys there who knew my hubby saw us kissing and told hubby. Everything worked out in the end and i married my husband which I love dearly and would never give up for anything in this world! But after 8yrs my hubby still accuses me of being unfaithful even though I have explained to him what happended all those years ago. We were never " together"  when I went to that party. We were only starting to know each other. I dont think that count as cheating! Does it?
After 8-9yrs hubby still sometimes accuses me of cheating if I wear a dress or try to do something different with my hair before going to work! I am tired of trying to defend myself! He kissed a girl once while being engaged to me! Doesn' t that count as cheating? Please tell me what am I suppose to do?

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Our expert says:
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You have had a number of most unfortunate experiences, and your own foolishness and wishful, romantic thinking have probably contributed to at least some of those. But its important that you and your husband learn to live in and enjoy the present, rather than being chained to the past. Arrange to see a marriage counsellor together, eg through FAMSA.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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