Our expert says:
Maybe the first priority should be the welfae of the child, and if she is neglecting him, this is abuse or neglect,and maybe the Child Welfare authorities should be asked to review the situation. and this might, in turn, give her something of a wake-up call ? And especially if she uses the child as a tactic to get her own way, that should be viewed seriously by the welfare authorities. As the courts are already involved, and it sounds as though she may be ignoring the court orders, her position may be much less secure than she assumes.
Counselling that lasts for years, especially in someone with a personality disorder, is indeed useless.
And maybe search the web and read about Tough Love. So long as her misguided father sponsors her laziness and irresponsibility, how would she have any motivation to change the slovenly habits he is encouraging ?
And if and when he dies, what then ? He seems to have trained her to be utterly incapable of fending for herself, and nobody else would want to sponsor her lifestyle.
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