Our expert says:
The advice you have received so far has not been bad; I can't vouch for Stud100 though - although if it is an anaesthetising spray, then some people do find it beneficial. Be aware of timing though and that the anaesthetising agent doesn't impact on you - also that you don't have a reaction to it...I'm not sure what's in it!
It seems that you still don't know how to begin to discuss it, so suggestions are fine, but how do you bring the subject up. It's so easy to conceptualise this as him having a problem, which actually according to statistics he doesn't - most men take on average 2 minutes to ejaculate if they don't use delay strategies (one of the men who replied is unfortunately at the other end of the spectrum, which can be equally frustrating). The real problem here is the disparity between his and your sexual response and the fact that you aren't able to achieve your climax/relief through penetration...of course, this is frustrating for you. I wonder if you are at least able to experience orgasm via other methods? I hope so, but this still doesn't address this common frustration.... Best try to bring it up as it really is - not him with a problem, but a wish to enhance your sexual experience together.
You could possibly talk about how, given how long you've been together, you really know each other and feel comfortable, and so would now feel comfortable enough to begin to explore your sexual experience a little more. You could tell him that all couples can become used to what they have, and you'd like to see how your sexual relationship might develop beyond it's current level. You could then also tell him that a man's orgasm is supposed to be more intense if he holds off - and you'd like to see if you can explore this together, perhaps adding that you might like to see if he can learn to hold off and see how your excitement might tantalise him as he frustrates himself and then releases...? He can search ways to 'delay ejaculation' (rather than putting it in negative terms 'premature ejaculation' because it's actually not if he's lasting 2 minutes) and see how you go from there. A search on the archives of this site definitely has suggestions - I have answered many such questions advising strategies in the past.
Claire - SASHA
For further information please consult SASHA’s website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to email@example.com
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